A post is in the works

I haven't been had time to make any posts in a while. I'm working on an extensive post talking about my trip to Mozambique, the lake, and everything else interesting that has happened. Its still in the works, so it might be a week or so more. 

Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. 

Goodnight.

Bleh

I'm sorry I haven't posted again. Not having a computer I can use is killing my ability to post when coupled with the fact that I am getting home late most days now. And its going to get more busy when I get the database sent to me, because then data entry will start up again . . . and the editing of the database . . . and making a new one for stool study . . . it's just going to be a lot of work. Which is good, because Hannah works so much its insane, and I'm feeling like I'm slacking or something, but I guess you get to work that hard when you're a doctor. 

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that, though I don't think that any of you took it seriously, I sure haven't seen any signs that anyone did, but four posts a week is unsustainable. In fact, any amount of required posts is impossible at present. So the favor game I made up has to die. If you actually want to collect, all favors gained till now still stand, but I can't continue. Its not possible.

So anyway, there have been lots of stuff happening the last two weeks. We started enrolling newborn babies. I chased a chicken for forty minutes and it ended up stuck in a bush. Because I'm was having some trouble (very little, more like scraping by) buying enough food myself, my stipend was doubled. (I have NO FREAKING IDEA what I am going to do with that money.) Leslie left and came back from vacation. Random food buying and whatnot. The nurse for stool study who's "name" I forgot again's sister in law died, so we lost her for a day or two. I had massive abdominal pain at our overnight stay at Namandanje one week, and merely got a little sick the next week . . . Yeah I've decided that I'm in an abusive relationship with that place, I always end up sick or something when I go there, but anyway . . . I rode on top of the truck for half an hour, on Malawi roads. I met one of the people who runs the peace corps here. And lots of other random stuff that you could expect from me.

So you see, I'm alive. I'm fine. And the workload is only going to get bigger, so my posts will become less frequent. Actually this took to much time too, gotta go.

TTYL

---He who needs to pack the car for tomorrow now.

Sorry.

Well, its been quite a twelve days since I last posted. I don't have time to fill you in on everything yet, but I'll tell you why I've been absent, if only to assure you that I'm still alive. This month is approximately three months since the stool study started. Healthy babies get stool collected every three months. So EVERYONE is pooping now. And it only takes one stubborn kid with powerful sphincter muscles to keep us at the site forever. I've been sick, I think I'm finally over all of it, but I thought that a month ago too, when this freaking cold first hit me. And for some reason no matter what I do, nothing ever seems to time right so I can get to Icon cyber cafe in time to post. I'm working on it. Oh, and last week makes the fourth time I haven't posted enough, so there will be loads of favors. Yeah I think four is biting off more than I can chew. So anyways, I'm alive. I'm (Hopefully) healthy. 

TTYL

---He who now owes WAY too many people favors.

P.S. I'm desperate and this post delayed my sleep. So just this once I'm counting this little nothing of a post as one of my four this week.

Lazy day, Sick Sick Sick...

Ok this mac is giving me trouble...I'm gonna fix this post tomorrow, but now whenever I try to copy-paste my post it just goes below the page. I mean, blog entry post, little blue line, all my text. And when I publish with it there, nothing gets posted. Anyway, if you see this, sorry , but I don't have the energy to retype the whole thing.

I really need to learn how to slash through stuff no longer pertinent, anyone got a clue?

Today had been quite a lazy day. Joy (Male) and I have been up for a while, me for about 6 more hours than he, and we haven’t really done much productive work all day. Granted I’ve been trying to learn Access for the last hour, but I don’t count no progress as ‘productive work.’ Access is just confusing, and the manual she brought on the CD was junk. I mean, it has lots of great details and whatnot, but it sucks terribly as a tutorial. Thanks SO MUCH Mom for telling Hannah to NOT bring an access manual. Urgh. Anyway, the reason jay and I are stuck here instead of being out in the field is because we’re both recovering from sickness.

I got sick two weeks ago. It progressed from runny nose to sneezing to coughing to wheezing and all the way back to runny nose over two or three days. Then it stayed at runny nose, with occasional recurrences of coughing. Then Joy caught my sickness, and he’s been getting worse and worse until yesterday he broke out in a high fever, shortly after I was sent home early for having a high fever. Also, I have been having a recurrence of the dehydration type lightheadedness. If you recall, in a post about a month ago I talked about how I got so dizzy I couldn’t even stand? Well it never really went away. I have had very small bouts of dizziness every time I stand up since. I mean very small. But last Monday it started coming back heavily. So I made sure to eat and drink lots and tried to stave it off, but on Tuesday it got so bad I had to lay down, and I broke out in a fever so high even I could feel I had one. Or maybe the fever was the cause of the dizziness as well? Who knows? Who cares? All I know is that I’m running a very small fever now (.2 degrees) and I’m feeling loads better. And YES dad, I’m drinking lots of water.

Now because I’ve been kinda out of it the last few days, I cant supply any more for a normal post, so here’s a little more about MARAWI!!!

Malawians have a very interesting language. In Chichewa, all words, ALL words, end in vowels. This has caused me to be named by Malawians who can’t speak any English, Bilo. Kinda funny, at the Adventist hospital I got written in as Bilo Sharp. Hah. Also, there are very, very standardized greetings here. (Note: There are no spaces between some words because no pause is pronounced.) When you meet someone you say, “Muli Bwanji?” (Mu = You, Li = are, Bwanji = How) To which one responds, and I have suspicions that this would be the response even if your mother died, “Ndiri Bwino, Kayainu?” (Ndi = I, ri = is, Bwino = Fine, Kaya = and, Inu = You) To which one responds, you guessed it, “Ndiri Bwino.” I actually like to add Kayainu to the end of the second one, just to see if I can get a volley going. Now at this point some of the more observant ones of you are going, wait, Li and Ri are the same word, WTF? This ties in to how you pronounce Chichewa, where most L’s and R’s are interchangeable. I can’t articulate what it sounds like over the blog, but if you can try to merge an L sound with an R, that’s how most of the words here are pronounced. Malawi is an exception, the L is distinct, but Leslie likes to call it MARAWI anyway. (Yes it is caps for a reason. I can’t articulate how she sounds when she says is but it’s pretty funny, and caps is the closest I can get.) Moving on, if its early morning instead of, “Muli Bwanji,” one says “Mwadzuka Bwanji?” (Mwa = You, dzuka = rise, bwino = h…oh wait I already told you that one didn’t I?) And the response is, “Ndadzuka Bwino, Kayainu?” (Nda = We) I won’t insult your intelligence by supplying you with the second response. Now I’m sure that was shell shockingly different than the last one right? But it gets better. If it’s in the evening you say, “Mwaswela Bwanji?” (Swela = play.) Replace Mwa with Nda and I’m sure you can figure the responses out on your own; you’re big boys and girls right? So that is the entirety of the Malawian greetings. How are you, how did you rise (I think this one means did you sleep well), and how did you play (I theorize, going out on a limb here, it means did you have an enjoyable day). But should you ask a Malawian to describe Mwadzuka, they would just say, it’s the morning greeting. The meaning isn’t even important anymore. Which is why many Malawians have dropped the Bwino and Bwanji in the morning and evening greetings. “Mwadzuka?” “Ndadzuka, Kayainu?” “Ndadzuka.” In case you were wondering this equates to “You rise?” “We rise, and you?” “We rise.” Doesn’t make much sense, but I do find it REALLY amusing that if one were to go to say, a Malwian party, and greet all the guests you would (probably) use the same one every time. Isn’t that something? Thats it. Three standardized greetings. Anyone who even casually knows me knows that is EXCRUTIATING for a smartass like myself. I can't say, ARGH I'm doing terribly! Or anything else. The Malawians would just stare at you! So. Frustrating.

I don’t know much more Chichewa…both the Chichewa books are in someone else’s possession at the moment, so for now…


TTYL

---He who is glad the world has decided which way is up…again…

We Got robbed!

I woke up at 6 oclock today...three hours earlier than I should have...to the knocking of one of our guards on my window. After cursing him, his family, and all of the progeny he may ever procreate, or the progeny they may procreate, I rolled out of bed, put my pants on, and went outside. I then, half asleep, followed him to the Downhouse, our supply area, to find the bars bent.

I'll shorten the three hour ordeal into a paragraph or two for you guys. What was stolen: 200,000 kwatcha, (1250 dollars) some oil, and our printer. A guard was apparently ambushed ant tied up. The dog may or may not have been barking its head of at midnight, depending on whether you believe the landlord or his son. Right now though, we don't know exactly who stole the stuff, or where it is. Were the guards in on it? We don't know. It is strange that the robbers knew which house was empty, that the guards would not patrol, and where the servants quarters were, because they put the dog there. WHATEVER. I'll keep you posted if anything new comes up.

Oh, and because we ran out of some ingredients, we cant get the cmv for the ten percent chiponde, and we have to stop enrolling. Yay. That means all my frantic work over the last two weeks has been for NOTHING.

So anyway, heres my responces to your comments...

"Wonder if any of you noticed..."

Medium Bill - Its a pain getting UP with five hours of sleep. Not the dinner. Jeez.

Ulf - Actually the head cold refuses to leave. I still have a runny nose.

Rita - Glad you dont think I've lost my destructive touch. =)

Aggie - I would have loved to be in the states, as it was I felt really detached from it all.

"Classifying BABIEZ"

Kellye - Its ok, I knew you were slow for a long time. I'm real happy to hear that you had been reading it before though (Am I inferring that right?)

Ms Megonigal - COOL! You're reading this? AWESOME!!! You're the best btw, just so you know. Oh and Me and Billy? Do you think I'm Brian? Nonetheless, I'm not sure you're nerves would be able to take another year of "me and Billy."

Malawi Mom - Uhm...my mom taught me it was fun to decapitate small woodland creatures...is that terrible too?

Hannah is coming!"

Aunt Jo - I will never forget. In fact, I was very dissapointed when I realized it doesnt work o her anymore.

Kellye - Guess what Kellye, ITS OPPOSITE DAY! (My retort to "ay. To. Go.")

SO thats it for now, If I get more internet time I'll extend my responces.

TTYL

---He who is glad the computers WERE NOT in the downhouse.

Hannah is coming!

Hannah, a new doctor person is coming today. It will be interesting, because as Leslie put it, "We have the same conversations over and over, and it will be nice to have her here instead of having to role-play her." Really though, I'm kinda excited, because I've heard so many people talking about her (Many of them contradicting each other) and this will be the day we get to meet the mystery person!

Thing on the bugs of last night, I was recently told people eat them here...which is why we only found the wings this morning...

So here comes a post I've been meaning to make for a long time...What is it actually like to live in a third world country?

Well we have everything here that you have in a first world country. There are cars, air conditioning, planes, roads, government, police, computers, Etc. However, only the very rich have them. And the condition of the luxuries here is a far degree lower than it is in the states. The cars break down all the time, the computers aren't half as good as back home, the police don't have cars, roads are shitty, planes only arrive twice a week, and the government mildly corrupt (better than in previous administrations) and to a certain degree, ineffectual. We have only been in air conditioning once. And EVERYONE is walking or riding a bike. Or riding in one of those minibus deathtraps, if they can afford it. And this is in the cities, where everyone is sort of well off, by malawian standards. In the villages, people live like the 18th century or earlier. Starvation isn't something to bemoan, its just a part of everyday life. Water is pulled from pumps, and there is no good education, unless you pay for it. Compare this to the states where people can squander everything they are given (on a silver platter no less) and still have their god given right to a car and a roof over their heads. Its amazing how lucky we are, my readership and me, to be born in a country where everything is provided for, and you barely have to work to get such luxuries as we take for granted. I say this because I have seen children aged three or less hoeing their "gardens" (Fields) with a hoe that is bigger than them. In comparison most in first world countries just amble their way through life without a care in the world. Seriously, thank whatever deity you pray to, or to fortune if you like me, that you were so damn lucky to be born where you were, for nothing you have ever accomplished, no matter how hard you worked, would be possible here.

TTLY

---He who hopes Hannah has a sense of humor.

Classifying BABIEZ

Hey y’all. How have you been? You watched the election? Of course you did. Irrespective of your political affiliation, did the results surprise any of you? I’ll just let you in on a couple things from this end. Every one of the nurses exploded with joy when they heard, which is funny, considering that if they knew what he stood for; all the progressive things like gay rights and having government not regulate abortion, they would probably not have supported him. One of our med students, who I won’t name, actually cried when he/she heard the news. I didn’t really react, I was sure Obama was gonna win. Here’s another interesting tidbit. Kenya declared a national holiday when Barack won. They also started clearing the road to Obama’s grandma’s house, in anticipation of a visit by him. I’m not sure, but I don’t think it’s extremely likely (right now I’m stuck on 50-50) that Barack will pay a visit so someone (I think) he’s never seen before.

Anyway, lets shift the focus back onto a far bigger and more important issue, ME!

Note. It wasn’t the get together with the girls that was ‘a pain,’ it was only having 5 hours of sleep.

Let’s see let’s see. Tuesday night the azungus (Me Lelsie and Joy (Male) ) went to Maky’s to watch the election. We got to see the typical finishing speeches, including McCain’s pathetic, “The Mac is back!” I’m sorry but no one that old should try to refer to himself as ‘The Mac.’ We got kicked out around 11-ish, and we then went home and collapsed (Eleven is really late for us). We found out who won the election while driving to clinic. And Wednesday was a pretty typical day, except that I went back to the compound instead of going to Namandanje. Yaaaay! I got to enter LOTS of data. More on that later. So I got home and what do I do? Drive under the overhang that covers the cars. Which is unusual, considering my usual spot is more off to the side, but anyway…there was a chair on the top of the truck…and just so you know…chair legs VS net thing…net thing wins. After faceplanting the wheel in frustration, I pulled it off the car. I spent the next two hours trying to get in touch with Leslie, who had told me that I HAD to call her. I eventually did, turned out she left her phone in the car for a while. And lastly I went to Maky’s again, to get some nice ambiance while entering data, only to find that ambiance ruined by three grown women with spirits of pre-teen school girls ruining it by talking way too loud, way too much, way too fast, about way too little.

So that’s Wednesday…wonderful wasn’t it? Lesse, isn’t much to say about Thursday. I finished the pile of three hundred or so cards I’ve been working on for the last week…only to be depressed by the fact that the next pile of cards is just as big. BLEH. Victor and I picked up a car that just got finished in the shop…and shifted all the stuff out of the Land Rover (The usual stool study truck) into the newly fixed one. Then he drove the Rover to the shop. Yaaay. Oh, but things get interesting late at night. Now there had been TORRENTIAL downpours all day Thursday…a sign the hungry season is upon us…and when it rains the little bugs I mentioned crawl out of everywhere, and apparently they come out in proportion to how much it rains…so when it was dark outside and the lights were on we heard this smacking sound against our window…and it was a whole swarm of them smacking against our light outside, and some were hitting the window. Some found their way inside too…freaks…I don’t understand how these bugs survive…they basically emerge after a rain, exhaust themselves, and die after they have thoroughly exhausted themselves. Seriously, the ground underneath the lights looks like a battlefield with all the dying bugs or whatever you call pavement covered with dying bugs…(Personally I think it’s a joy!) One good thing though, any bugs that enter the house eventually exhaust themselves, and then the lizards (which I don’t mind) eat them! Woohoo! I don’t even have to clean up the bodies! Fan-freaking-tastic! So the war to keep our houses free from these pests has begun…I only hope I may take many of the bastards out in the process.

Quick note. The Net has been screwy since the torrential rains on Thursday. One thing I don't get. How is all the net out EXCEPT Google? WTF!?! Someone needs to explain how that works...

Moving on. Friday. Uhm…normal day? Not many kids…no defaulters…But I do have one question for you, my somewhat loyal viewership. Does it make me a bad person if I get my kicks off making kids cry? Let me give the context. Over the almost two months I’ve been here I have created five categories for kids I see at clinics. One: young kids, four to nine years of age. Pal around with them. Noogies go over well. Two: boring babies who give no reaction to anything you do. Ignore them. Three: Very, Very sick babies. Be very gentle, and pity them. Isn’t much else you can do, babies that are really malnourished have no energy to do anything. Four: FUN BABIES!!! Babies that are bright eyed, will play with you, smile, and actually have fun with an azungu! Wonderful, and play the hell out of them. It took me a while to realize that one of the pairs at today’s site were a type four, and I had loads of fun after I figured that out…but I digress…Type 5:…Crying babies. Babies that cry a lot, especially the ones that cry whenever I look at them. I’m talking I look: WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAAH! I look away:...Silence…Antagonize these babies! Don’t do anything that is really mean, but look at them a lot, make faces, noises…anything to make them cry again! I guess it kinda annoys me that they just start crying whenever I look, so I’m trying to cure them of it…kinda a trial by fire…plus it kinda makes me laugh when they cry for no real reason…Does that make me a bad person?

TTYL

---He who is preparing for the battle tonight…it rained…

Wonder if any of you noticed...

It’s been a long couple-a days.

To start off, I’ve been getting progressively sicker since Friday. Before I cause any other heart attacks, it’s just a head cold. But it started off as that annoying mucus in the back of my throat, and now I’m coughing all the time. Or at least I was. I think I got over most of it today.

So anyway, my pathetic total card entry over the weekend was eighty. Twenty behind. Isn’t that grand? I entered forty yesterday, so I think I compensated.

And in other weekend news, it rained. A fair amount. I hate the rain. Even though it causes the sky to darken and this freaking place to (finally!!!) get cool. Why? Because when it rains these ant-fly things swarm out of the ground and fly straight towards all bright lights (Our house). So irritating.

Also, last Saturday when Joy (Male) and I were walking to Maky’s, we encountered some of the volunteers working at the orphanage next door. I won’t bore you with the details, but they invited us to take a visit. Joy had time to make the visit, I didn’t (Card entry) but when he was there he got us invited to a birthday dinner. It was at a nice Italian restaurant, and we drove them because they don’t have cars. It was pretty nice, there were four girls, ages 25-27, three from the UK and one from the US. It was pretty fun, we talked about Chiponde, England, Politics, Accents, whatever came up. We got to bed late though. That was a pain.

Speaking of pains, Monday morning this terrible horn player kept me up for half an hour! He sucked, and if I had found him I would have shoved his horn through his EYE for playing at four in the freaking morning!

Monday. Monday. What a stressful day for Leslie. Stool study was OK, but we stayed late, and because of the way we had been doing things, we kept Leslie late as well. And she had already been irritated because of 10 defaulters, kids that weren’t being fed, and other annoying things. Did I mention it was freaking hot outside? When we drove with the windows down it felt like a furnace. And when we got to Icon, the net café, we found out that the car we had been driving didn’t have a parking break. Have I ever mentioned the parking at Icon is on a hill? I didn’t? It is. And Icon was packed. We had to wait twenty minutes. It is near impossible to stress me out, but I’m surprised Leslie didn’t EXPLODE at this point. Everything had gone wrong Monday.

Tuesday starts off funny, and then gets boring real fast. Well, because of the parking break issue, we wanted to switch cars. So I get up, run over in time to get Victor as he’s coming in, and we completely unload and reload the truck. Then we drive to pick up Jennifer, which is what I am naming the awesome stool study nurse. Partway there, we notice a light isn’t going off on the dashboard. Turns out, the fan belt broke. By the time we got back the car was smoking. And then unload and reload the cars. What fun! This put us an hour behind schedule, which makes a big difference when you have to wait for a tyke to poop. Victor made up for it though, by driving really hella fast. I should know, I was leaning on a bag of flour and still got bruises from all the bumps. Once we got there everything went normally. Only one funny thing to mention, we are weighing kinds who have already been fed now, and this one kid shit all over the scale. It was great in a way, I just grabbed it in bag and there’s his stool. I think this might become a kinda last resort. The kid won’t poop? Leave him on the scale for a while. And if any of you were wondering (and I might have already said this) people DO lose bowel control when they get scared. I can’t count the number of kids that have peed on the scale and height board, and this poop incident just further proves it.

And that’s it for me…now let me look at those comments…

"A day at the court..."

Kathleen - It went well, the fine ended up being the equivalent of 20 bucks.

Rita - I thought I blow things up/lose them?

Bernie - Tell Elicia I'm feeding little kids like her peanut butter!

Aggie - I STILL havent had the chance to read all you wrote, I guess when (If) I get a computer I'll let you know my reaction then.

Liz - Haha. I didn't lose them.

Aunt Jo - I actually have a clip and I have only lost one key. A long Time ago.

"Guess what, I drove to make this post!"

Dad - OF COURSE I'm trying to kill you. I thought we had already been over this.

Mom - Getting stuff out is gonna be hard...I don't have constant computer access and thinks are kinda hectic here...

"Cards...Cards...CARDS!!!"

Aggie - Just a predicion here. Obama.

Malawi Mom - Hasn't the world always been orange?

Medium Bill - It rained. No hike.

Uncle D and Aunt J - RAAAAH I dont have any more time to respond I have to go crap!!! I'm glad to hear you're finally wading into technology though. =)

TTYL

---He who wonders if anyone noticed there were only three posts last week?

Cards...Cards...CARDS!!!!

As the title suggests, cards are filling up all my free time...actually I see orange wherever I look...maybe I'm starting to lose it...haha. But seriously, I've entered 50 so far and will probably enter 50-75 more before today ends. I've been to Macky's today, and we might go for a hike. Then more cards. Cards. Cardies. Hah...

Oh and I am still allowed to drive, as it is one of the things that every worker here needs to be able to do. Not that I'm jumping on it, I still hate driving. But when I have to I am able to.

This post isn't gonna be long, I couldn't prepare ahead of time, and there isn't much to say about today. So I can't fit in much of an about Malawi, but heres a little one.

You might think that africa is full of wildlife, but you'd be dead wrong. Other than little lizards, there is barely any wildlife here. Outside of preserves of course. Why is that? All of the natives eat all the animals. In fact there are only two animals that remain now. One, Monkeys. Why? They are too smart to get themselves eaten. (Made me laugh, Monkeys:1 People:0) The other animals are hippos. And that is just because...well hippos are big sunsaguns. You make one mad and you might be taken out of the gene pool. And that is todays quick posty.

TTLY

---He who is REALLY tired of cards

Guess what, I drove to make this post!

Wednesday was typical. Go to Chamba, (Wednesday’s site) feed kids, collect their poop. Whup-tee-do. Not much to say about the site itself. Then we drove to Namandanje. Seemed normal so far, long drive. Etc. etc. Only difference was that because some more people were going to the mission, we had to leave half at a motel.

Now I will tell you this, simply because I have, probably inadvisedly, taken my entire readership into my confidence. Oh, and by the way, I’m not trying to make this blog particularly “deep” or anything; I’m just too ‘lazy’ to omit anything. Now here’s the bit. If you have been reading recently, you will have read two posts ago my super long reply to a one paragraph question. Now one of the things I mentioned was that I thought that when you die, probably, everything you are just disappears. Now, that has never been a particularly scary concept for me, after all, what do you have to fear about nothing? But here’s the thing, anyone with a reasonable amount of experience will know that there is a huge gap between thinking and understanding. And also, many of you know that there are some understandings that no matter how hard you ponder you will reach. Some can only be obtained by accidentally stumbling onto them. And this is what happened while my brain was meandering on the car ride. I accidentally fell upon what my view on death actually means. And let me tell you it was terrifying. I can’t even explain how the realization felt, but my chest clenched up and my heart rate went crazy. But the most surprising thing was that I was able to suppress the feeling in about ten seconds. I’m not sure how, whether by rationalization or what, but I forced it away. I spent the rest of the day thinking about it, not really sure whether I was trying to find that understanding again, or make sure I never stumbled onto it ever again.

So anyway that’s always in the background on Wednesday. Later, when we reached Namandanje, I tried to get some alone time watching the football game, but 15-20 kids flocked to me. I couldn’t lose them for an hour. After that hour, when it was getting dark, I went back to the church and lay on the steps for another hour. After that I got a phone call from Joy (Male) asking where I was because they were about ready to get a search party ready for me. I had been trying to hide, so I wouldn’t get crowded again, but I guess I hid too well.

Here comes the fun part. The ‘people’ coming to the mission were a couple from Italy (where the father comes from) and were going to have a traditional African wedding. Naturally Namandanje turned out to welcome them. There were four drummers, a truck with speakers in it, and about a hundred or so dancing Africans. We heard when the groom arrived (They were arriving separately) because there was this explosion of noise as all of the Africans roared and increased their partying. So naturally we went to go look. It was HILLARIOUS. There were so many people dancing, singing, many of them plastered, many of them (women included) shirtless. (Actually I would have never noticed that last part had Joy not pointed it out to me; I’ve seen more women breastfeeding than anyone should ever be subjected to, and I don’t really notice anymore.) In fact they actually went into the car and dragged out the family, or everyone they could, the grandpa was DECIDEDLY not coming out. Haha. The groom was just talking to the father, but the others actually started dancing. The best part was when this really, really, really, plastered guy who had uprooted a banana tree earlier to wave it around slammed it onto the back of their truck, on that little thing you hitch trailers to. And it STUCK. It was great.

Not much else to say, except we got a room at the outside of the compound this time, and actually had airflow. It was amazing; the first time I haven’t woken up drenched in sweat.

Thursday oh Thursday. I don’t feel like describing it. Except this. We left at six thirty, and we got back home at eight. URGH. Oh and apparently I have this ability to attract kids, because I couldn’t help but get a crowd every place we went to, whether I wanted one or not. Actually its kinda troublesome, because I can’t speak the language, and unlike Joy, I quickly run out of things to do. So I usually end up chasing them. Kinda tiring though. Oh and when we got home I accidentally killed a cockroach with my bare feet. I mention that because once I realized what I did, I just shrugged and walked on. I’m getting way too used to Africa.

Friday. Uhm, normal sized site. Three new kids. I still have magic hands, as I got 6 kids to poop in ten minutes, except this one brat who refused to poop for four hours. There were lots of cute babies actually, the bright eyed kind that doesn’t start crying just from looking at me. (And yes there are a lot of those.) Not much to say.

Here’s one thing though. I have been talking about entering cards for a while. Here’s a little piece, so you understand. We graduate about 15 kids every day, from every site. Two sites a day, thirty kids. I can enter 22 cards an hour. I haven’t had a chance to enter cards in the last three days. I counted. We got 100 cards in the last three days. So that’s five hours of work. Sounds terrible right? Five hours of work on the weekend when I should be relaxing? But it gets better. We didn’t enter cards for a while, so we have 500ish cards that need to be entered on top of that. So, to make progress, I need to enter 200 or so over the weekend. And if we don’t get them all entered, now, we never will, because hunger season is fast approaching. And guess what, kids are more likely to starve in hunger season! So even MORE cards every day. I think if I practically kill myself over the next two weeks I might be able to enter them all. Maybe. OR maybe I’ll go insane and jump off the roof. We will see wont we?

TTYL

---He who is tired of orange pieces of paper

A day at the court...

Wow I'm sure surprised at the amount of comments on that last post...One? I know my parents were freaking, and immediately called/emailed me. But still, one comment? Were you guys just to dissapointed? Well, no matter, the blog shall continue as long as at least one person other than my parents read this.

So Monday Monday Monday...Pretty normal day, all things considered. One or two things of note at the site. I apparently have magic hands for applying suppositories. (The ones we use to make the stubborn ones poop) One kid pooped right as I put the suppository in, and the other pooped as I layed him on the towel. Maaaaaagic hands. So thats now my job. Yaaaaay. Hahaha.

I spent the rest of the day playing with little babies while we waitd for Leslie to get back and check Edema. (The swelling by water getting stuck in the body, a sign of Kwash.)

Tuesday is going better than I had hoped it would. I woke up as early as I usually do, and waited around, entering data cards. At 7:20 our manager picked me up, and she drove us to the police station. We got a good prosecutor, and left for the courthouse after about an hour. When we got there, since the judges were in a meeting, and she didn't want to make us wait, she let us go, we are going to skip the court case, as I am pleading guilty, and she will call us when our fine is ready. She said it will probably be 1-3 thousand kwatcha, but could be up to 5. I have 8 thousand on me, so I should be OK for the fine.

I'm just going to spend the rest of today entering cards. Not much else to say.

Also, I was told that my explanations of the studys was kinda spotty, so here's try number two.

Stool study is trying to determine what causes kids to get Kwashiorkor. Marasmus is caused by a lack of food in general, whereas Kwash is caused by an undiverse diet (Eating bread paste every day) But it is unclear what is the exact cause of Kwashiorkor. There may be some evidence the difference in those that develop Kwash and Marasmus in the bacteria in the bowels. SO...the study takes twins, and we monitor them until their third birthday, taking stool every three months, unless they become malnourished. If they become malnourished, they get put on chiponde, and we take stool at every visit. In this way, we hope to get many samples from kids with both Kwash and Marasmus, and be able to determine a difference in their "bowel flora" or the bacteria in the stomach and intestines. If it works, The Doctor may be able to determine the cause of Kwash.

The other study is trying to determine whether chiponde that is 10% milk and 10% soy can be used to treat children as well as chiponde that is 25% milk. Now, for some better background on it. Milk is very hard to come by here in Malawi, and very expensive. Soy milk, on the other hand, is not as hard. There are right now, three types of chiponde we use in the field. Soya Chiponde, 10% milk, and 25% milk (the original). Now some amino acids (might not be amino acids, but its SOMETHING) present in milk are needed for a baby to put on some serious weight. A few are present in soy milk, but not all. It has been shown that a baby that is only moderately malnourished can be treated on soya, but babies that are severley malnourished cannot. However, if we can treat severe children with a chiponde solution that has less milk in it, it would be possible to treat more children. So we, completely at random, treat children with either the 10 or 25 solution, and see if they recover. So far there hasn't been any major, visible differences with the two types, but once we have treated 2500 they will check to see exactly how much of a difference there is.

If that wasn't clear in any way, please let me know.

TTYL
---He whohopes people are still reading this.

I'm such a bastard...

Ok I know that title will throw some of you, but once I explain, you'll understand. This post starts late Friday, after I left Icon from that last post, which got some nice responces btw. But anyway, I drove home and upon getting home realized I didn't have my keys. CRAP! So I quickly drove back to Icon to see if I left them there. (I REALLY don't want to lose my keys!) And on the way back I was doing a right hand turn, and pulled a typical Amarican driver mistake, you dont have to look on right turns. (Plus I was a little freaked about the keys.) So as I turn I see these headlights coming towards the front of the truck. Quickly. I think it says a lot about me, probably as much as the last post did, that the only thing that passed through my mind before the collision was, "Fuck." (This word can have lots of flavors, and the paticular flavor this time was "Are you serious?") It was kinda strange, because the roads always freak me out here, I take turns very slowly, so when the guy slammed into me, I was almost stationary. And the truck i was in hardly even shook. No air bag. Just a little, teeny jolt. I got out and the Hilux (Which I was driving) was hardly even dented. In fact the only thing even bent was the bumper. That truck is a TANK. Especially considering that the other car was totaled. Like, V shape indentation, dripping oil, sizzling. Crazyness. And the guy who walked out was like 6 foot. Black guy. If he was pissed he could have easily rearranged my face. But he didn't.

Side note here. Though the accident was completely my fault, I am almost sure the guy was speeding. The roads at night are very empty, and I am confident in my ability to recognize when a car is very close to me. I think that he was proably going very fast, and I didn't recognize how fast he was going. Plus, there's NO WAY to damage your car as bad as his was if you were going any reasonably speed.

Anyhow, he called the police, and I called Leslie and our manager (who I forgot how I named). I asked Leslie to bring my driver's license. The manager was just there because she's our manager. We drove the car off the side. (To the right, the bumper made it impossible to drive left.) And then we went to the police station. It was kinda funny, becuase the police officer was making this report on blank sheets of paper, drawing the lines using other pieces of paper. I would have laughed, if I wasn't using every ounce of energy to calm myself down. Anyway, there was a lot of. "You need to look before you turn." "Yes." "You didn't look correctly." "Indeed." Etc. Probably because I was so straightforward, they gave me the lowest offence, inconsiderate driving. The fine is probably, 2500, to 5000 Kwatcha (one dollar = 150 kwatcha) which is funny, since my weekly stipend is 7000. I go to court on tuesday to sort that out. (Everyone goes to court of every offence here, I'll probably just pay the fine and go, try to restart dad's heart please, mom.)

One thing was kinda awkward though, I was supposed to be able to make a statement, and I tried to make mine, "I agree with the charges, but the other driver was speeding as well, and the damage would be considerably less had he not been." But the Policeman was kinda like "You agree. Sign here." I was told when we got home that my civil rights were violated by that, but no one wanted to push it. Didn't really seem like the time or place for it, if you get my drift. Plus, if the fine is as small as everyone thinks, I wont even care.

Small note, this is a key example of how amazing my luck is. Though, yes, I am kinda unlucky (or stupid) for getting into an accident, my luck paces the road so everything works out. For example, when do I get into an accident? When we have two extra working cars. How badly is my car damaged? Barely, it took us about half an hour to bend the bumper back, and it doesn't even need to be taken to the shop. Where do I get into an accident? A country where (I think) it wont go on my record. Does the guy who could seriously hurt me try? No. How much will I (hopefully) have to pay? Less than I get every week. Seriously, Its not like I ever test my luck, but its always like this. Stupid stuff I do that works itself out.

So how does this make me a bastard? All I could think about for the last two days was this: I'm dictating from a hospital bed. I got into a terrible accident and lost my left arm. I wrecked one of the project vehicles. All this crap I could say to make both my parents instantly go into cardiac arrest. It was only because I thought they might be mad enough to kill me when I get home, if they let me back home after that, that kept me from saying something like that. See, what decent person would actually think that?

So enough on that. I'm fine, and I'll let you know what happens on Tuesday.

Saturday. Woke up at like 12-1ish. Entered like 50 data cards. Very normal day, just lazing around listening to my music. We went to a club at 10 though to listen to a Reggae band play. It was nice, we got Joy (male) me, Victor, Leslie, and L(Forget what is after the L, will fix later, but he runs the factory) and his wife. We just sat around listening and talking for two hours or so. OR they talked, I gave up at trying to talk over the band really soon. I just sat listening. And right as it was getting good the power died. BWAHAHAHAHA. Hows that for typical Malawian?

So today was more of the same. Ran around and did some shopping. Going to go to Macky's. And make sure there's nothing wrong with the cards I've already entered. (I checked the 150 I entered ove the last week, but I need to check the 100 we already had entered.) I'll probably do that at Macky's. So that's it for my weekend.

Q/A session 2

"Sundays quick post"

Kathleen - I want to check the site traffic asap, but those sights require me to download something, and unless I get a computer I wont be able to moniter it. Thanks though!

Ulf - Actually I think I might know a little more now. We started the computer yesterday, and it didn't recognize any airport hardware, which sucks, because that's what the computer is for. However, the computer works fine...could the airport cause the Kernel Panic?

Becca - I'm not sure if the brainstorming should worry me. xP And my arms are all better now.

Rita - Then you are in luck! Because I only use three. And you didn't get the favors because I only started the favor system recently.

"Normal-ish day 2"

Medium Bill - Cause you heart failure, and inherit your insurance, of course.

Becca - My friends want to leave so I'm gonna try to answer fast. There are tremendous amounts of subsistence farmers, which is about as dirt poor as you get. People that have bikes are kinda rich, if you consider that everyone is poor. Most whites are either tourists or volunteers. The indians are the rich upper class here. *eats cookie*

Aunt Jo - Aren't you happy to hear this update?

Chris - Following in your footsteps man!

"Never a dull moment..."

Rita - I can't spare the time to start the debate here, so I'll just wait till I get back then take you up on your offer.

Malawi Mom - Man, sounds like we are in the car on one of those hella long car rides again. Feel that way for you too?

Buhbuhboo- Welcome to the great world of unlimited speculation. if you ever want a long ramble about the meaning of life, the universe, and everything, give me a call, I'd be glad to oblige.

Medium Bill - You are in the car too? Cool. And by the way you know I consider it more philosophical than spiritual. And I love that quote, "Specialization is for insects"

Liz - I've never heard that before, "BS." Haha. When I stop questioning things that is gonna be the time for someone to smack me with a slegehammer. Glad to see that you think some similar things to me too! You're a lot better at articulating them though, whats your trick?

MalawiMom - Urgh. Look this week I posted 4 times. Here's why. "Sundays quick post" was posted on MONDAY. If you look closely there's a "Note:" and I follow with the nothing that happened on monday. I STARTED on Sunday, and posted on Monday. Then Tuesday rolled along, and I posted "Normal-ish day 2" Friday was "Never a dull moment..." And Sunday is "I'm such a bastard..." My week starts on Monday, becuase that's when my work weeks starts, then I relax on the weekend, and Monday starts it over again. Monday - Sunday. Mon, Tue, Fri, Sun. I owe you nothing. Hahaha.

TTYL
---He who really hopes he will prove useful enough to keep another three months.

Never a dull moment...

Haha, the last few days have been jam packed, where shall I begin...?

Tuesday night I started reading Robert Heinlen's Stranger in a Strange Land. A fantastic book, truly a sci-fi classic, but don't read it if you're a prude, seriously. You'd find the second half terrible. Anyway, I spent the next two days fanatically reading it, trying to put it down, failing, and then fanatically reading it again. I finished it with this thought; there is a big difference between tru sci-fi and books that have aliens and spaceships.

Anyway, just keep in mind that that was always in the background on Wednesday and Thursday.

Wedesday was boring at the begining. Whatever I named the nurse on stool study was off being a witness in her court case, prosecuting a boy who stole from her. So me 'n him got to do the stool study. And the poop collection. Wasn't actually that bad, as very young baby poo doesn't stink THAT bad. But there were no new kids. Two poopers. Nothing to do. Since Leslie was doing defaulter runs I stayed behind and read. We didn't go get drinks as we left late. Eventually we got to Namandanje.

At Namadanje I read for a while but eventually Leslie interupted me and asked if I wanted to go for a walk. So I I did. Nice random talk. Bout an hour walk. We passed a huge gravesite though. It was another instance of a humble thing giving the same feel as a ornate one, as the gravesite, with its many wooden crosses, unnamed graves, and three stick gate gave as much, or even more of a somber feel than the ones we have back home.

Food was good. I didn't eat much though. My appetite is almost dead and I only eat because I need to. Not sure why my appetite is gone.

Then we have Thursday, like usual since stool study isn't present on Thursdays, I helped one of the Med students. Joy (male) this time. Long day, with me standing the whole time. Not much fun. But it really isn;t supposed to be. Depressing thing happened after clinic. There was this mom, with a kid who was not gaining weight, and looked skin and bones. I really can't express to you how bad these kids look, skin and bones isthe closest I can get. We wanted to take the kid to the hospital, but the gogo (grandma) of the mom would not allow it. Joy tried to convince her in the best Chichewa that he could muster that the baby needed to go to the hospital. The grandma would have none of it, and would keep making excuses no matter what Joy said. The mom had started sobbing during this. Eventually she said quietly, but loudly enough for everyone to hear "I'm going." At this Joy, despite misgivings that if he left (he told me afterwards) went to go get defaulters. He did get two, actually. One of which the entire village gathered round, and while watching the baby being fed agreed to keep the chiponde away from the father, who was eating it. However, while Joy was gone, and I was in the market as well, the Gogo asked/told the mom to get food from the market. While she was gone, the gogo said she needed to go to the bathroom, and while noone was looking ran off with the baby. Later, the HSA's told us, You know who's eating the chiponde? Gogo. If you can tell me, after hearing that, that some people aren't better off dead, I'm suprised at your idealism.

Anyway, we got back on Thursday and foud out one of our trucks got stolen from. Victor may or may not have left the door unlocked. I hope he did, because its a bigger problem if someone can pick locks. Anyway, the guards we have presently may or may not be all fired soon. Its unsure, and out of my hands. (The landlord runs things here.)

Friday. Normal stool study day. When I got home I put in 25 data cards. I hope to get 25 more in, though I may burn out. Also, we have a chiponde problem. We have run out of a material used to make the 10% milk formula. We have enough 10% to last two months at least, but we may have to pause enrollments until we get more. *shrugs* You roll with the punches.

Anyhow, heres your responce Aggie, I know its late but I couldn't bear to answer such a question quickly, that would be bastardizing all the time I spent thinking about it over the years.

So here is the question/comment.

Some say that the earth, the universe, everything physical and tangible is but a cosmic accident. So...following that logic...limes, lemons, herb plants, are an accident? Hmmmm. The last 10 times I have sliced a lime and enjoyed the fragrance of it... and used it to enhance the flavor of my food...well, I just can't bring myself to believe that that lime grew by a sheer accident of nature.

Well this is a complex question, and at the risk of being considered a "contemplator" as Liz put it, I'm going to answer it as completely as I am able. Note: This is a much larger, much more public insight into the way my mind works than I have ever expressed before. If you don't want to see that stop reading. Second, my dad has a phrase I love to quote, "No ones faith should be so weak you can't poke it with a stick." I adapt that to No ones faith should be so weak you can't light dynamite underneath it, but for the sake of a completely public audience, I'm toning it down to my dad's. So, if you feel insecure in your faith, or take offence when people question it, don't read what follows. Last thing, what I am going to write is the result of over eight years of constant questioning, pondering, and long philosophical talks in the car, not the result of me being in Africa.

Last Last thing. I am very bad at articulating my most important ideas, so this is not my complete philosophy, and I will probably forget, or leave out, a lot. If you want to debate with me when I get back, I'd be glad to, philosophical debating is one of my favorite pastimes, but few people like to indulge me.

So let me start with my issues with organized religion, as that is usually what people refer to when they try to refute "accidents of nature." To start off with...well damn I don't know where to start. Lets see...I guess anything is as good a starting point as any other. In my mind, religion is man made. In essence, it is very much the way Terry Pratchett describes gods in his novel Small Gods. Gods, and religion being created, and given shape by their constituency. What I mean is that people run around questioning, "Why am I here, How did I get here, "Where am I going?" and they come up with answers based off of their culture. This is supported by the fact that religions have a texture based off the area they were founded in. For example, Islam, Judaism, and Christianity, despite their differences, all support the "Same" god, and have many of the same precepts such as worship of said god. The eastern religions are of a completely different flavor however. Taoism and Confucianism, for example, have a much heavier basis on philosophy, and though each has a deity of sorts, I have not yet read in either the Analects or the Tao Te Ching a command to "worship." Native Americans tended to worship nature. Etc. There are cultural tendencies to religions, and if religion is something man-made, that kinda defeats the purpose.

But lets assume for a minute, for the sake of argument, that someone is right, for whatever reason, and there is a god, or gods. Each is mutually exclusive, and most have some way of condemning everyone who doesn't follow their exact set of precepts, and rewarding those that do. A hell if you will. A concept I find particularly repulsive, because it means that your reason for doing good things should be either a fear of punishment, or a desire to get something. Or both. Neither concept sits well with me personally, but I prefer everyone else have it that way, because my faith in the natural good (and evil) of man is nill. But I digress. So how should one choose the "one true" religion? By works of god? Tough nuts. All the miracles conveniently ended before each individual religion's scriptures were written. The faith most religions demand you have? Faith? It seems like an exceedingly ineffiecient system to run a universe on. What about the people who never heard of your religion, are they screwed? Couldn't the one true religion be one crushed over the ravages of time? To quote the book I just read. "Is there any basis for preffering one hypothesis over another? When you understand nothing? No!"

Note that I witheld all judgements on relgions themselves, all I did was question how one is to decide the "right" one.

So anyhow, I have some of my own theories. All of them as valid as any of yours. Couldn't the "big bang" have been god, an unimaginable mass of energy, exploding himself into the universe, so we all are god? What if all the gods were the same, and he was just putting on as many faces as a man may? (Father, son, brother, employee, boss, lover, friend, etc.) What if there are indeed many gods? What does it matter?

Anyway, to answer your intial question, Yes random chance could bring about such an accident of nature. For the simple reason that limes, lemons, herb plants, are good for us. So naturally they grew, and we grew to like them, becuase they were benificial. You might as well ask, "how could weeds grow as a sheer accident of nature, they are so damnable annoying, it couldn't be a coincidence." Or "Mosquitos always seem tobe just out to get me, that couldn't be an accident." It just so happens that lemons and limes nice, and mosquitos and weeds are indisputable irritating, because lemons and limes are good for us and weeds and mosquitos (mosquitos especcialy) are not. I have absolute faith (haha) in natural selection as a way to generate a world as complex as ours.

However, why is there matter anyway? Why are there natural laws such as gravity, magnetism, and physics? Why is any of this here? No matter where you look, you will eventually find a glaring question. "Why?" The answer: I don't know. It's almost inconceivable that anything could exist on its own, as a random chance, that it would randomly generate a world like this. However, should you answer with god, where did he come from? Etc. No matter where you look, or how far you think it out. So let it go, I'll never know. And I'll never have the answer. But here are my possible answers to Why, how, and where are we going.

Why are we here? This question is irrelevent to me. Why am I here? A huge accident? A gigantic complex plan? What does it matter? Do we really need to blow ourselves up by saying we are here for an ineffable purpose? I will live the best I can, doing everything as I think is best, and try to make the most of my life, and that's all I need.

How did we get to be here? Again, why does it matter? We are here now, do we really need to know how? The big bang makes scientific sense in many ways, but it doesn't explain what triggered it. Whup de freaking do. There are so many things you could do while trying to figure out how we got to be here. Like live your life for one.

Where do we go when we die? Ahahaha. I have a very depressing answer for this one. When we die, the collection of amino acids and proteins that make us up decompose, and we are gone. Forever. Poof. Thats it. Oblivion. Except oblivion implies you still have a conciousness. And that is to me, what seems the most likely. What do I hope? Well I hope there is a god, and he has a good sense of humor, and isn't as freaking anal about little details as most officials in every religion seem to think, and he would welcome me to some kind of afterlife. My personal favorite afterlife I've though up is one where everyone goes into categories based on who they are. Rapists, murderers in their ilk go into one, where the can indulge themselves on each other forever. Everyone else who is too uptight and knows whats right, and insists on shoving it down everyone else's throat can go into one place, and indulge themselves on each other. And everyone else can go into one place and be happy. Oversimplified but I find it amusing.

Truth is though that while it makes me laugh, I'll never know the truth, so why dwell on it too much? If god is kind and judges people on who they are, and how tyhey lived, maybe I'll be in luck? If not and hes an anal son of a gun, I'd never be able to stomach worshiping him anyway. If god doesn't exist, or this life is all we have, its a moot point anyway right? So just go out, live, and be happy is my response.

Quite a respose for a small comment right?

TTYL
---He who has been thinking about that for way too long

Normal-ish day 2

Well today was pretty normal. Woke up early. Got to site. Kids were there. All of them. Seems to be going well. The car we rode home in yesterday (from Icon) had its breaks die, so we got home with the parking break. Whatever, there isn't that much to say...so without further ado...

About Malawi 2

I was going to give an explanation about what third world country really means, but I'll have to save that for later. Today I will answer Ulf's questions about the roads.

The roads here are craptastic. I'm not sure if I said this before, but rods range from paved to really crappy dirt roads. Every day we start off on the Tarmac or another major road, well paved, and in forty five minutes to an hour we are on the crappiest roads you can imagine. There may be street lights, but they are only followed if you want to, as there is no workable police force. (The police cant afford to have cars)

There are pedestrians EVERYHWERE. And TONS of cyclists, which is almost comforting as only the rich can afford them, (A lot of rich people?) but depressing becuase only the rich can afford them. (Bike = rich?) And none of them have the fear of god in them. They seem to treat cars with a kind of indifference, and do the STUPIDIST things. Like run right out in front of the car. Or swerve into the middle of the road. Really the pedestrians freak me the hell out. On the other hand, there isn't any stigma against cyclists here like there is in the states. (In this I refer to the fact that on my bike I have had cars honk at me as if they are trying to make me fall off, been sworn at, flicked off, had full soda cans thrown at me, and in one instance a motorcyclist tried to push me off my bike. Jackasses...) The horns are used liberally here, but it is considered polite here. Like "Excuse me, get off the road or you might get hit." And I have never seen any ill intentions towards cyclists or pedestrians.

Cars are reckless as hell as well. In many instances the car has gotten to heart-leaping-in-throat distance of a car in front of us because of some idiotic thing that driver has done. Add in the fact that with a car laden full of chiponde the momentum is much greater. And to actually get anywhere in Malawi It is very neccesary to be agressive, because there are no stoplights, and if you dont agressively take a spot, you will never move forward. However, there if you don't excercize caution you might get yourself killed. Hence why Malawian roads scare the shit out of me, and I walk as much as possible.

On the other hand, the drivers are nothing if not courteous. In one instance I saw an entire intersection come to a halt so a learner driver could pass. (Learner drivers have a big L on the top of the car.) So in driving, as in most things, Malawians are kind. Very complicated concept I know. But it's a very complicated place.

Oh and to answer your new question Ulf, I don't know what version, but after a long time thinking I think I'm going to leave it as it is so that I can't be said to have messed it up more.

Sunday's quick post

The computer is acting funny, and I want to get out not only one post but a q/a session as well, so I'm gonna make this quick and sweet, and move on.

Saturday...what did I do on Saturday...woke up...read a book...drove to market and did some chores...fooled around on the internet a bit...oh yeah! And I tried my first attempt at cooking...It didn't go so well...the pan was a stick pan...so the chicken stuck...the soy sauce boiled instead of making a soup...the oil might have been wrong...the chicken was a little undercooked and had to be recooked...and because of all the above problems and me getting frantic I added way too much spices. I couldn't sleep all night because my bowels were doing many things they weren't supposed to...and I've been pooping fire all day...yeah...better luck next time.

Today was a lazy day. Because of the aforesaid sleeping problem I slept in till twelve, and didn't do all that much all day. The computer was on the fritz though. We're getting this kernel panic error message, and aren't sure how to fix it. I printed out 42 pages of stuff on kernel panic, and none of them are definitive as to what the problem is. We think that the problem was caused by a lack of RAM, because we had fifty-eleven things on the desktop, but it failed again when I was carrying it away from the Uphouse. Maybe kernel panic can be caused by the power cord somehow? Do you have any ideas mac-fan boss?

Note: Was supposed to end there but computer crapped out last night. Today I went back into the field, and it went pretty normal. Lots of kids though. And we got home a little late. Then I immidaetly walked to icon and started finishing this...And Worry not...now I'm taking water, sobo (concentrated sugarwater) and food in the mornings, so I wont relapse. Plus Leslie checks up on me a lot to make sure I'm doing fine.

Now for the first, and most masochistic q/a session ever...I.E. I will respond to all comments that deserve, or ask for responses...kids...this is why procrastination is bad...

Btw, note that I just respond, Unless you want to go check the comments as you read this just look for ones where I'm responding to you unless you really want to bore yourself.

"Testing Testing"

Great to see some people are going back to the beginning, despite how ridiculously long it will be to go from beginning to the present. And some even commented! I really should find a way to view traffic so I can either depress myself less or a whole lot more, depending on how many people are actually reading.

KK - The language in southern Malawi is called Chichewa, and no I don't need to speak it, as most people in the cities speak English as well, and at the sites the nurses translate the more difficult phrases. I am however trying to learn...as soon as I can locate that darn book I lost...

"Laff at me everyone!!!!!!"

Nice to see all the family relations putting in their two cents worth. I aprecciate it.

xoLBIxLieshxo - I have to ask, where'd you find that convoluted name? And at the risk of redundancy, how would I forget that you're my cousin Jules?

drkbowes - How would one capitolize on being here?

sunin - Again at the risk of redundancy, I'll be sure to stop by soon after I get back, mk?

kk - Of course I have bad kharma, just ask a Bevard...they will give you lots of examples...

"Terms of use"

Well, this page didn't work as well as I had hoped...either noone is reading it or noone is commenting...neither on is comforting but I'd prefer it if everyone was just to lazy to comment. (I can relate to lazy)

malawi mom - Cmon! You couldn't even make it out of the airport!? I expected better of you! Haha kidding. Nice to know I'm missed.

Rita - Why is no more than three names cheating? Is BobJames reading this really? Or did they just say they were going to? I can understand if they chose not to, seeing as I tend to ramble about nonsensical stuff like now. And I send off the info eventually, were you on the list?

beccablue - Here starts the amazing commenter! n.n That's great that your guard is doing well, I hope you make yourself proud. And be sure so save a video so I can see when I get back mk?

"Touchdown"

Just putting it out there, I know where both you smart assses live...watch yourselves...

Ulf - Yeah Internet is slow here and up until recently we didnt have even a half decent connection. And then the kernel panic...so there be difficulties with the pics...I'll get them up eventually...somehow...And a hot tub eh...thats gonna be just great for some little five year old to run over and drop books in...

"Awayinmalawi"

Wow a good number of posts this time..

Aggie - thats really cool! Its true that giving something that doesn't mean much to us could make a huge difference to someone here in Africa. Glad to see the involved post. =)

Aunt Jo - Thanks for the compliment about the wittyness, but its really just me running at the "mouth" like I always do.

Ulf - Yes I REALLY am in Africa. Oh and Im glad to hear about the TV. Sounds like the five year old can drop it in the bathtub and/or start a fire with it. =)

Janet - Yeah, I'm glad I got picked up too...I can imagine so many ways I could end up in an unfavorable condition...many involve bikes...oh wait that would be Calvert County wouldnt it? And let me tell you the bookstore wasn't the same without you either.

Dennis - I am completely at a loss as to how to respond to that much praise.

"Picture day...or not?"

Medium Bill - Thanks

Malawi Mom - The pictures beg to differ
1) Excuses.
2)Red sites are ones we go to, Blue sites are the ones that took over themselves.
3)There's ALWAYS Chichewa.
4)Dunno. And there are many cases like hers. Painwise. Agewise. = (
5)Giant thermos is for stool study.

I AM that far away.

Kathleen - Nice to hear from you.

Ulf - I havent used flikr, because the connection is too terrible to upload photos and oh wait I'm being redundant.

"First (work) day"

First off, the box was full of letters for every Saturday from now till January, and holidays. Filled with one candy each. And YES I'm greatful, but you must UNDERSTAND how much self control it takes not to eat them all NOW!!!

Malawi Mom - Eh. You share jerkdom.

Ulf - Weren't they?

Bill - Are you SURE that your icons class is reading this? Because I haven't seen any comments. Of course you could have spared them reading every individual novel of a post...I'd understand. =)

Cheyrl Easton - The entire marching band isn't reading this are they? That would kind of freak me out.

Adelle Conolly - Nice to hear from you, It's been a long time since freshman year hasn't it?

Tegethoffs - Pah! Safety is for noobs who want to live...oh wait...

And Michelle, you can, the hardest part is getting of your ass and doing it, I say from experience, as I almost didn't do this. (I was thinking about it for a while, and if I had pondered for too much longer it wouldn't have happened.)

Mrs Evartt - YAY MRS EVARTT!! Do you remember how many grey hairs I gave you in your class? Say hi to Mr Evartt for me, and thanks for the fun 1/2 year each of you.

Ciotti - If you want to do something like this prepare to do lots of research if you want to do an off the wall program like this one, and want your time to make a difference. OR you can volunteer into Americorps or the Peace Corps. Those are always good choices.

"One day late (O.M.G.)"

Malawi Mom - Sure you're the same person. Parents. See one noun.

Ulf - I'm taking your advice to heart, as I've had indigestion so many times here. Although maybe my stomach just can't handle mow much spice I'm shoving into it?

"Car Trouble"

Medium Bill - Jerk laugh it up. (And mom is a jerk too by association)

Aunt Jo - Haha. That made me laugh, true though.

Sunin - Actually I kept pulling down my net so I got about 37 bites in a week! X (

Becca Boo - The hitchikers guide is indescribable. Read it. NAO!

Jimmy - ...We call it stool here...thanks for your...help...though...xP

"Sorry for the wait, did you miss me?"

Kathleen - Wow someone beat my parents to the first post? Wow!

Rita - I've got lots! And you can't see them!

Ulf - You were kidding right?

Caitlyn - What hubbub?

"Lazy weekend"

Malawi Mom -
1)We have to live in the house.
2)Very steady.
3)No. We work our asses off to feed the kids. And none of us want to cook on the weekends.

Ulf - Roads range from dirt with many many many potholes, to pavement with many many potholes. I cant describe the amount of bicyles.

Becca - Are you always that excitable?

"Tired. This be quick. Maybe."

Nice to see noone wants me home any time soon... =)

Pam - Crap, you were the one who called him miss joy? Oops gave the wrong person credit. And we live in a nice completely not like Malawi compound.

Malawi Mom - Getting tired skipping replying to your too big comment.

Lynn - Have they been reading it? Any input on how what I'm describing is different from what they experienced?

"Somtimes its gonna be real hard to make a title..."

Wow I misspelled the title...Phail...

Malawi Mom - Oh come on, now that I'm gone you cant control your tear ducts anymore? Plus you KNOW me. This kind of broad thinking isn't unusal, I just had better food for thought than I usually do.

Peggy - WHY IS EVERYONE CRYING OVER THIS? Haha, thanks for the input though, and its cool that you got the same feeling as me.

Becca - Actually its primary focus is research, and because of that research it has actually been adopted as the preferred malnoutrition treatment worldwide...I think...not sure where I could site that from so don't quote me but I remember reading SOMETHING like that. I remember a UN somethingorother...Oh and your tight hugs are starting to make me arms ache.

Liz - It even made you misty? Dang, oh wait is contemplator a bad thing? (Crap!)

"Long Hiatus explained"

MediumBill - We just cut it out because its a useless piece of brainmatter and gave it to you, Mr falls-asleep-at-eight-oclock.

Aggie - Actually I do believe it is an accident of nature, although accident is probably not the word I'd use, I'll get back to this later, not gonna spend the twenty five minutes it'd take to explain it now.

Jo - Weather is hot as *insert vulgar heat refrence here.*

Pam - Read the Tao of pooh already. Guy comes off as kinda condescending. Should read the cave sometime.

Becca - Ouch. So many tight hugs...I think I'm getting a circular bruise.

John, Gaeli, Raleen, Barbrann - Thanks for saying hi.

"SORRy"

Eww terrible misscapitolization.

Just for the sake of putting this out there, I'm upping my own ante, I need to post four times to not owe favors...which means I owe some from this week...greaaaaaat. I'll make a tally at the bottom.

Thanks for the posts, can't think of a way to reply...plus I'm getting cramps.

"Catchup"

Malawi Mom - Yes it applies to you...I wish it didn't...but it does...

Chris - Oh gods I owe YOU a favor?!

Becca - I would love to reply to that...but wow I don't have the time tonight, I want to eat and sleep too. Thanks for the length though, I read the whole thing!

Elhibri - It would be impossible to crush my sense of humor! And plus without a sense of humor this would probably be really depressing...and even with a sense of humor it will occasionally get you anyway.

"Normal-ish day 1"

Yeah, Im gonna use this title for every "About Malawi," so keep an eye out for that.

Grand Pop - Then I shudder to think of the states of those countries...

Aunt Jo - Not sure if there is any Moto t-shirts...I didn't see any in the stands and thats not a good sign...And as you read it might be a better idea to ask MOM about the chicken.

Ulf - GO CYCLING!!! Kinda obscene that even though you can bike everywhere you still need to prove that you are capable of driving after your incident.

bbb0000000 - did I get enough b's and o's? not sure...And we could easily crunch some numbers once we get a couple hundred entered to see if the 25% and the 10% work similarly. The stool needs to be analyzed in the states though, and that will take a lot of time. But a "final" verdict is probably a long time coming.

Catlyn D - I wish I got a vacation back in the states...but that would just be too freaking expensive...and it kinda makes me nervous that your goig to show that to someone majoring in the subject...I can just imagine..."No...that wasn't how it went, actually..."

A.MJ - Great to hear from you, and what do you mean by a "real eduacation?"

"Near death experience"

BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! I'm glad this got the desired respose! Hehe...

Mediumbill - I know. Aren't you glad I told you?

Malawi Mom - I'm fine now. I pulled this stunt in high school remember? Not eating untill I got home? Just turns out the circumstances are (a little) different this time. Am I worrying you now? I wasn't aware you knew how. *Imagines mom kicking me out the door to Malawi, Figuratively* Kidding of course.

Kathleen - You have no Idea how happy that comment made me...or how long it took me to stop laughing. Just tell me, were the screams together or did they come at an interval?

Aggie - Don't waste your favor on that, becuase Leslie is going into mother mode trying to keep me alive, she's doing it for you.

Liz - I think they might have, except the part of their brain that processes hyperbole and sarcasm died when they saw near death.

booooo - I usually try not to off myself, and I'm still trying to get those pics up.

Adele Connoly - Juju cn use aything that they think has spiritual signifigance. Monkeys paws are most common. Wikipedia it. I wiki'd it right after the game and thats where I found my info.

Sunin - Yes I'm fine now, very fine in fact. So dont worry too much ok? And I'm glad to hear that she still likes me, I was afraid that she'd forget me with this long absence.


If I didn't respond to a comment its because I don't know you very well, and can't come up with a responce on the fly. However, from this point forward I will (try to) answer every comment with a responce on Sundays. Thank You all for your comments. They are all (mostly, you smartasses) aprecciated.

Favors owed:
Boooo - 4
Sunin - 1
Adele Connoly - 1
Liz - 1
Aggie - 1
Kathleen - 1
Mom - 1
Dad - 1
Grand pop - 1
Aunt Jo - 1
Ulf - 1
Caitlyn D - 1
A.MJ - 1
Chris - 1
Elhibri - 1
Grandma...I think - 1

Note you can only get one favor per week...BUT OH MY GOD...I need to get this blog unde control...If this happens too often...I'll be in such deep crap...I mean look...Chris...Mom...Dad...Ulf...who knows what they'd make me do!?!

Newayz. This post is so completely done.

TTYL
---He whose fingers are about to mutiny...oh wait...there they go...

Near death experience

Hi guys, I almost died yesterday...BWAHAHAHAHA! Nah, just kidding, thats a blatant Sharpferbole, (A very blatant exaggeration that we Scharpfs are prone to making.) but I did really feel like shit yesterday. More on that later, when it falls into its correct chronological place.

So let me start with Wednesday, with a minor preface from Tuesday night. On tuesday I forgot to eat. I've pretty much been running on an "eat when you feel hungry" schedule, which worked because I was ravenous every time I got home. So Tuesday went like this. Morning:"CRAP I'M LATE!" (No time for food.) And we never have food at the sites, I'td be rude to eat in front of the moms. And when I got home my usual craving never hit in, so I just forgot.

So here we get to Wednesday. In the morning I again forgot to eat. No time. No biggie though right? I wasn't hungry or anything. And the day was pretty typical. Couple small bouts of light headedness though. A couple kids to stool, one new set. Nothing strenuous. I think my main job in the future will be double checking all the data entry on the cards before we send them off, because there are some minor and major discrepancies on some.

And then the long ride to Namandanje. Joy. It was fun when we arrived though. There was a soccer game going on for middle schoolers. I watched it for about an hour, making faces at the random people who kept feeling an urge to stare at the azungu. It was fun though, as I got to practice some weird faces I havent had cause to make in a while, such as making my eyes roll into the back of my head. (That one got the best reactions.)

Afterwards I got a crowd of little kids, so I showed of my psp's music a little, as I feel the urge to spread rock to this barren wasteland that lacks any, and I spun them around for like half an hour. To explain what I mean by spin around, Grab both hands. Pull in a circular motion around yourself untill their feet leave the ground. Keep spinning them in circles until you are gonna fall over. TRY to get them to the ground without hurting yourself. Try to not hurt yourself while the world can't decide where it wants to be. Repeat. Haha, it was fun though.

At the mission the food was good as usual, and the usual animals were there to. Just to name the animals this father has, there's three cats, a hedgehog and there used to be a monkey. In fact, I used to have aspirations to pick up said hedgehog, bug I'm re-evaluating. I saw the little dude catch a cockroach and eat it. I probably have more to fear than just his spines.

Now the next morning is where things get fun. I woke up with a splitting headache and stomach cramps at four in the morning. I couldn't sleep and didn't get out of bed until 6. After that it seemed to have subsided, but when I got to the site dizzy spells started to hammer me, until I couldn't even stand anymore. So I got a chair and worke sitting down for an hour and a half. After that it got so bad that the only relief I could get was from laying down on a wooden table. I ended up laying there for two hours.

A quick background on what this feels like, ever had a headache where every jolt, every quick movement was painful, and there is no relief unless you can become stationary, like laying down? Well this is exacly like that, except switch pain with exreme dizzyness.

Actually, I though I might be dehydrated, but I had drank a crapton of water at Namandanje, and wasn't sure. It was kind of pointless though, because the water we brought from the mission wasn't purified, and was unsafe. Despite that though, I snuck out to drink some of it partway through the day. Oh and in the mess I was feeling all day I forgot my cell in Namandanje, so no phone calls this week.

When I got back in the car, I wasn't sure how I was gonna make it. I mean, the only relief was to be had from laying horizontal, (not possible in a car) without any jostling. (not possible on Malawi roads) Eventually we stopped at a supermarket and I bought, and drank 1.5 liters of water. I felt a lot better after that, so I guessed I was probably dehydrated. However...

Once I got to he house I immediately went to sleep. And I slept fo about two more hours. When I woke up, BANG! Another dizzy spell. While struggling Leslie told me that dehydration is a misnomer, and means that your body is missing water, or salt, or some other vital nutrients. AKA, the water I had earlier was just a temporary solution. I had a bowl of ramen then, in hopes that it would help me. And it did. Kinda.

But it didn't go away completely. So here are my symptopms at this point. Dizzyness. Lots of Dizzyness. Joint pain. Stomach cramps. A very accelerated pulse. Headaches (When I woke up.) Very Lethargic. Pale. Flushed (In the cheeks.) Running a fever. (1 degree over) Many of these are symptoms of a long day at work coupled with a long day of work and dehydration, but considering that I had been bitten by about 40 mosquitos two weeks ago, (Kept pulling my bugnet down) we figured I should go get tested for malaria.

Quick disclaimer about Malaria. Yes it is deadly. Yes it can cause massive damage to oneself, for example, there is one subsect called cerebral Malaria that can cause brain damage. However, the most deadly aspect of Malaria (in my mind) is the way it operates. It causes your red blood cells, infected with the parisites ruptures generating more parisites, IN WAVES. Meaning you're fine for two weeks after the infection then Bam! You have a fever. Then it goes away. Then Bam! You have another. Its worse. Et cetera. This can continue for a while before anyone, especialy in the more rural areas, realizes that they have malaria, and by then it is often too late. If caught early, and supposing that you don't need to use it often, the medication will usually cover you. (Using it too often can cause alergic reactions)

So I got tested, and I'm negative. YAY! However just to be safe they prescribed LA (the medication) anyway. Woohoo. So anyways, I don't have Malaria, I just need to eat more often. =)

Anyway, I stayed home today though. Just to be sure I didn't overdo it again. So after sleeping way later than I should have, I got entering data. Lots of data. More data than I ever want to see again. BLEH. I need to enter more tomorrow though, I didn't get enough done because I slept in too late, and I REFUSE to be useless.

Also, today I was gonna make my chicken-brocolli-melt-your-face-off dish (ask me parents for details) but after the hour walk to the market they didnt have any. Meeeeeh... And I couldn't quite get the concept across to the new housekeeper here that we don't need food cooked, ("-I'm cooking tonight, we dont need you to. -What? -I'll cook don't cook. -What - Don't. Cook. Dinner. Tonight." I don't think she speaks english) because we got a meal. Which is kinda good, but I was supposed to make this LAST Friday, and I kinda really want to have it now. Meh.

Rest of the day was fine. Watched presidential debate. McCain in probably gonna lose. Despite your political alignment you have to be able to see that. Made complicated algorithm for excel. I HATE YOU PARENTHESI! HATE YOU ONE LINE TO PUT IT ALL ON! HATE! And uhm. I ate and drank and took my pills. Feeling better. Not much more to say. Tired. Bed. Night.

TTYL
---He who is glad the world has decided which way is up.

Normal-ish day 1

To cap up a couple questions posted before my Sunday catchup, (THIS TIME I WILL) yes people over 40 can get favors too. Urrgh, Parents included. I mean, if you weren't eligible, what would I have to fear? Obviously no one other than boo in that age group cares enough about how I'm doing to check up once in a while. So if you weren't eligible what would I have to fear? Giving Boo a favor? Hardly scary in the least. Giving my PARENTS one? *shudders* And that's part of the point, to keep myself posting.

Add on: Chris gets mention because he posted too, didn't see that until after I posted though, so I'm adding it in now. Thanks Chris, just remember to sleep lightly, because I'm still after your Indian-face, and an ocean is not enough to deter me from getting it!

So today was HELL! We had eighteen kids in stool study. EIGHTEEN!!!! And NINE had too poop! And that was only the beginning! We got two new kids too! (new ones gotta poop too) So there was no relaxing of any kind for HOURS! HOURS I SAY!!! But seriously it was exhausting. We were working from eight to twelve pretty constantly, and even I had stuff to do because it was so packed. Things had relaxed by about one and I fell asleep on a stone slab. (All but three had left at that point, so its not like I was slacking, we were just waiting for them to poop) And we left by threeish. Got home by fourish. Some data entry. Tried playing the guitar for the third day in a row. I can't seem to keep my fingers from messing with the other strings I'm not trying to press. Guess I'll keep trying.

There isn't much more to say, pretty typical day. So...finally...FINALLY...I can begin the About Malawi posts, which will be a part of every normal-ish day! =)

About Malawi Part One
To start I'm going to give a little background about why Malawi is in the straights that it is in. Now I have heard a lot of people talk about countries like Malawi, releif organizations, and the poor in general like, "Why are you helping them, you should help them help themselves," or worse, "Why can't they work hard and pull themselves out of their situation?" (As if every oppourtunity we in the middle class have isn't based on the backs of those who have gone before us...) And yes, granted, no one would ever talk like that but I'm trying to get the general idea across.) Here are a couple reasons why that is a whole hell of a lot more difficult than people often think.

Keep in mind, there is probably a lot more than this, but I'm brain sucking off of Joy (male), who has read books on this and knows more about it than I do. In fact, he will probably do a post of his own on the subject, and when he does I'll link to that so you can get a much better idea, and maybe even delete the following as useless. (And redundant)

For one, Malawi got screwed when the imperialistic european countries drew up the maps, as many countries did. For one, Malawi has few marketable resources. The only things it exports, to my knowledge, is tea, sugar, tobbaco, and a little bit of rice. None of these are mass produced enough to make a substantial revenue to the Malawian economy. And with the borderlines drawn as arbitrarialy as they were, the international trade that might have otherwise taken place in a larger, better situated country is impossible. Plus, Malawi has no access to any rivers or waterways, so no easy trade via that route because of tarrifs. The border just pretty much screwed Malawi.

To further the subject of how the British did major harm, let me move on to the subject of agriculture. When the Brits came, they wanted to turn Malawi into a mercantile colony, as they did to pretty much everyone they conquered/got influence over. For one they dammed up all the rivers, something that provides power to the computer I'm writing on. However, before the dams, the malawians would vary their planting grounds based off of how the rainy season went. So if there was no rain, they would move very close to the river. If there was tons and the river flooded, they could simply back away to a better spot. With the rivers dammed that kind of flexibility is impossible. (Probably a better way to explain that last part, but he didn't expound on the subject, so I'm missing the details.) Also, the Brits wanted to have the Malawians grow cotton, big suprise. Thing is, with everyone growing cotton no one was growing food. So then the Malawians had to pay every thing they got from the well paying cotton yield to eat. Obviously when the Brits left they stopped growing cotton, as their main buyer had pulled out. (Assumption I'm making about why, but most did stop) However the Europeans left a legacy a lot more crippling, Maize.

Maize, another word for corn, is everywhere in Malawi, and many other African countries. Now Maize, when the rainy season goes...just...right...will yield fantastic results. However, Maize doesn't grow that well here in Malawi, and yes when the rain falls perfectly in the rainy season it will have impressive yields. But here in Malawi there is often drought and flooding (To clarify, it does often rain enough to cause flooding, but becuase of the dams the rivers specifically will not) and if there is one thing Maize is not, it is not resistant. Before the Europeans came, there were other foods being grown, ones that had some strength to them. So in a bad year, even though people went hungry, they didn't starve. Instead though, now bad years are crippling, with hardly any yield at all, no matter how hard you work the fields. (And let me tell you, they spend much of their time on those fields working them) This problem wasn't helped by the fact that the first president, who was by all accounts I have heard one of the most terrible leaders ever, strongly supported Maize. So by now Maize is the staple crop, and few farmers grow anything but it, or even know how.

Suffice it to say, though there is probably much one could say on the subject of the last pres here, he was useless, and did nothing to further Malawi's growth. Things were pretty chaotic, by all accounts I've heard. Maybe when I know more I'll expound upon the subject of the last Pres, but for now I dont care enough.

To finish up, all major companies here are outsourced. The "Malawian" beer is based of a company in germany. Coca Cola is everywhere. I'm sure other things such as Dulux paint is also based outside of Malawi. This is important, because that means that the profits from those major compainies are mostly leaving Malawi, and doing nothing to bolster its economy.

Pretty bleak eh? There really is no easy solution to those problems, and nor can one push the blame onto the people with excuses such as they dont work hard enough. But one can hope that with time they will be resolved. (Yeah, I know, not one of my more eloquent endings but I'm tired ok?)

TTYL
---He who is hoping they have his soup at the mission tomorrow

Catchup

OK, first off, I'm going to call myself out on one thing, Ive been meaning to respond to ALL your questions and comments for two weeks, but I keep running out of time. I'll work so that by this Sunday I'll be able to answer them all.

Then, I need to clarify on the incentives. First off, Any BS posts like the ones yesterday do not count, so I cant just run up and shove a couple sentences and pass that off as a whole post. Secondly, I want to define what I mean by you get a "favor." It means that I will do you any favor in my power, (just giving crap doesn't count) provided that it is a one time thing. For example, you couldn't make me change my major over one of these favors, but you could, say, make me attend a class for a day. (Why you would want that is beyond me, but it illustrates the difference well, I think) But as long as it isn't a prolonged favor you can ask for ANYTHING. And Boo gets three favors off the bat for being the only person under forty to post frequently (and without me having to ask her to.) Sorry mom n dad, but your bonus is that this blog has kept you from lapsing into cardiac arrest.

I hope this provides some incentive for more commenting. (and more posting on my part)

So anyhow, on Wednesday, (oh so long ago) the day went pretty much as usual. Woke up at the ass-crack-of-dawn, got into the car, went to the site. Not many kids that day, and we may or may not have had to track down some defaulters. Then a long ride to the mission at Namandanje. As-per-usual. But I did something for the first time at the mission, I left my book in the room and wandered around. I eventually found Joy and Leslie, surrounded by little kids. No sooner had I approached than little kids started swarming over me. Many wanted to shake my hand, and when I saw some going for round too I started playing with it, making a game out of shaking their hand in random directions vigorously to see if they would let go. This, did not work. It excited them and everyone wanted to try. Eventually got to chasing some around who were playing tag, overal just a very funny situation. (Envision me being crawled over like the pillars were covered with goblins in the first Lord of the Rings. And if you haven't seen it, FOR SHAME!)

Food was ok, (NO SOUP!?!?!?) and everything went well. Almost overslept the next day though.

The next day I didn't actually have a job, as stool study doesn't go to Namandanje, So I helped Leslie out instead. My job was to take the crying baby's info and see if it was malnourished. If it was I wrote some info and blah blah blah. Basically I got so see first hand the screening process. And let me tell you it is depressing. I mean, OBVIOUSLY a lot of people feed their kids, and they get better, hurray. But I got to see all the bad ones up there too. Mom's where their kid is losting weight, (Chiponde WILL make them gain, if they aren't the baby is not being fed) lying to our faces about things we ask them to do. (for their health) What takes the cake though is where you tell a mom "your kid is healthy," and they grimace like, "oh, really?" I love what I'm doing, its the first worthwile thing I've ever done in my life, and I love seeing the healthy ones discharged, just seing healty babies in general, but seeing that once is enough to depress me for a good half an hour or so.

The rest of the day was uneventful.

Friday was very packed. Lots of kids. We got out in an orderly fashion though. Nothing too terrible. Cant really remember much about friday. Must not have been important eh?

Saturday. OH SATURDAY. The things you will hear. The things I will say. The heart attack dad will have. =)

Joy (male) and I went to Macky's in the morening and I entered data. And thats just about it...

KIDDING! Though we did go to Macky's.

Well there was a football game on Saturday. A big football game everyone was going to. Apparently Malawi's football hasn't been doing well recentlyand this was their first chance to make it to the African cup in a hell of a long time. (Well the world cup too, but that would've needed a 3 point lead, soo unlikely.) So our manager and her husband picked us up in a project vehicle (because it was red, and the Malawian team is the Malawi Motos, Moto being FIRE, and the theme was LET THEM SEE RED) and they drove us to the stands, with her husband screaming in a megaphone the entire time, "MALAWI MOTO, MALAWI MOTO!" Yeah, he was well on his way to being plastered, and luckily he wasn't driving. In fact, he spent most of the game getting himself more plastered, jumping down in front of the bleachers, and taking his shirt off. Yeaaaaah, he probably would be embarrased to see a video of what he looked like. So we get to the stadium an it was PACKED. I mean every seat was filled, and there was so many red shirts it was unbelievable.

The pre game show was in many ways more interesting than the game itself. For starters, the warm ups. The Congo team, (Forgot to mention, DRC vs Malawi) and the Malawian team were supposed to warm up on seperate sides of the field. But they didn't. First one Malawian player ran over the middle, got pushed back, and then the ENTIRE TEAM ran over in formation through their side. I was laughing so hard when I saw that. I think two or three fights broke out before the game even started, which was strange, because in the game, no matter how hard somebody got knocked down noone ever fought about it.

Anyway, the funny part comes next, the DRC team brough a JUJU DOCTOR on the fireld. He performed his juju rites all over one of the goalposts. It was causing quite a stir among the Malawians, many who were actually concerned a bout the juju, not just the idea that they were trying to tamper with the game. Eventually a consencus was reached and a few Malawians scattered water to nullify their juju, and then added juju of their own. At this point I was almost dying of laughter. It followed, after warmups were over and I had regained my breath, the first juju guy runs back up and adds MORE juju! He got hisself chased off the field, and then another Malawian ran up to nullify it. They were both escorted away by an army member.

Did I meantion that this game was really important? Like bringing Malawi together, providing lots of excitement? So important the Army was present? So important the Army was equipped with automatic rifles and Uzis? I didn't? Well it was.

So then we have the game. It went off to a very bad start, with DRC scoring early. Apparently (Joy used to play football so he filled me in as to what was going on) the Malawian team sucked it up big time the first half. They had 4 golden opportunities by his reckoning, and wasted them all. The second half was much more fun though. The Motos scored about ten minutes into the half, and let me tell you, those stands ERUPTED. EVERYONE had to hug EVERYONE! They were doing things you'd never see in the states, like an entire bleacher dancing left and right ALL TOGETHER for FIVE MINUTES. They could have scored a goal and it probably would have gone unnoticed in the celebration of the first one.

Suffice it to say though, that the team was sufficiently empowered by this outcry, and doubled their focus and just about tripled their energy. The adrenaline wore off a little when two players were injured really quickly after the first goal, but I guess it still held a little, becuase they eventually scored again. And thats how the game ended. 2-1, Malawi wins.

At this the crowed started rioting. Cryes of "KILL THE AZUNGU" could be heard, and we...we lost Joy...he was carried off by the mob and we havent seen him since...BAHAHAHAHA kidding! But seriously they were rioting! There was a mass move to try to get on the field and grab the players or what not, and they all got chased back off. (Remember the goblin refrence from earlier? Well imagine people acting like that going back over a fence fleeing from the police =P) There was at least one streaker, though there might have been more. A large rioting crowd left the stadium, and another one stayed in. The one that stayed in amused itself by rattling the metal doors partitioning the nice expencive section we were in, screaming, and climbing up the fences. Did I mention the screaming? If I ever get Alima's camera I will try to get some pics of them online. Oh, and the rioting lasted an hour. At least. Is the import of this game to these people coming across just a little?

And then, the rest of the day just isnt important. Ate at Ali Baba's? Nothing compares to rioting.

And to sum up sunday cuz I am hella tired. I put data in. I was gonna cook my tongue melting chicken brocolli but the chicken wasn't thawed, and the brocolli was gross. We did go to our manager's house though to watch Vantage point. (Can't remember what I named her) I liked the movie, Leslie didn't. Car chase scene was way too long. (On a funny note, I cracked the DVD open early before I gave it to her and tried to watch it. And because of that, I missed out on the first 50 minutes. Which ironically meant that I understood the whole movie, but missed lots of little pieces. Go look it up if you want to understand what I mean, and start from the presidents' point of view.)

Today. Normal work day. Really cute babies though. Got many pics and vids of them. Was gonna cook today, but didn't because we didn't get the veggies. I think (maybe, as I dont have a good track record so far) I'll cook it tomorrow.

So BLEH ITS DOME! IM CAUGFHT UP{!!! IM NOPT TIERD! NOIT SAT LALL!!!!!

Haha, I may end up delelting that last line later, xP.

TTYL

---He who hopes this catchup game doesnt end up being a habit.