Second of three(?) parent posts

Wasn't gonna bother to post this, but I guess someone is still reading. Here's what my mom thought about Malawi.

Billy asked Bill and me to write some notes of our thoughts about Malawi, as he was too busy when he first arrived to make blog entries about an outsider’s first impressions. So, here are my thoughts after a very few days in the country. A couple of days in Blantyre, one of Malawi’s largest cities, and two forays to clinic sites with the Project Peanut Butter staff. Obviously, that hardly makes me a Malawi expert, so you’ll have to take thse observations with a grain of salt …

It’s 6 a.m. as I write these words and Blantyre has come alive. I’ve been listening to the horns tootle and engines roar by on the road nearby. I’ve seen the scene for the past two days and I can envision what is happening outside in the city and countryside.
The streets are fairly teeming with people walking or cycling to work. Malawi is among the poorest countries in the world and few of its people own automobiles. Some people ride in crammed white mini buses, but most people do all their daily traveling on foot. No matter what the size, condition or location of the road, it is sure to have a constant stream of people walking along it. I have never seen so many people on foot. It’s not like the crowds you see at rush hour in the city. It is a steady stream of people who must walk miles in each direction, often in bare feet or worn flip flops, to attend to their daily business. Women have babies tied comfortably on their backs, cradled in colorful chitenjes. They balance amazing configurations of bundles on their heads. And they walk and walk without complaint.
Many vendors move their goods to their little stalls by bicycle. I’ve seen a vendor with four newly made side chairs strapped to his bike. Bundles of wood, charcoal, sugar cane – you see all kinds of things balancing on the back of bicycles, extending far to either side, like a tightrope walker’s pole.
Cars careen through the streets at speeds higher than seems advisable. As the driver approaches pedestrians or cyclists, or zooms past a slower moving car, they tootle their horn. As Billy says, car horns are used “conversationally” in Malawi. Not “get the hell out of my way” like we do in the States, but more “hey, I’m coming up on your right.” Everyone has nerves of steel, for the cars pass within inches of people on foot and bicycle and no one flinches a bit.
There are stores in Blantyre but there are also hundreds of vendors. Each has a minuscule stall – maybe four to six feet wide – from which they sell their wares. The more successful vendors have stalls made of cinderblock with a corrugated metal roof. Most of the stands are built of sticks. Not planks of wood but sticks about an inch in diameter, seemingly lashed together, often listing to one side, looking as if a wee bit too much pressure in any direction would send the whole thing toppling over. Row after row of these stands are set up on muddy clay fields to form the markets for the poor of Malawi.
While the business center of Blantyre is paved, its neighborhoods are likewise built upon rocky, clay streets. The road surface is riddled with deep crevices and boulder-like rocks. Driving on these streets is jarring to both vehicle and passenger. This is true in fairly affluent areas as well as in working class neighborhoods. In the mornings we drove to pick up one of the nurses near her home. She and Billy liked to joke that her street was the worst in Malawi – but one of its side streets looked far worse, more akin to a rock climbing route than anything that a wheeled vehicle should ever traverse. It was startling to see that a fair number of the pedestrians wore business attire – suits, nice dresses, shirt and tie – as they trudged down the muddy, rocky streets to go to work. It must take concerted effort to keep their appearance so crisp and clean when their daily commute is so messy.
Another ubiquitous feature of Blantyre neighborhoods is high walls. In richer neighborhoods, the walls are thick and topped with barbed wire, razor wire or jagged shards of glass. Labor is absurdly cheap in Malawi, so every walled home has a staff of “guards” who open and close the gate for cars of the owner or visitors. As you drive down the street in an affluent neighborhood, it’s as if you’re passing through a bumpy canal, as you are surrounded by high cement walls on both sides of the road.
Poor neighborhoods have their share of walls, too, albeit homemade ones of tall sticks that are lashed together. Coming from the open suburbs of Southern Maryland, where even open fences are rare, it felt like the whole city has a fortress mentality.
It’s easy to understand, though, the need for theft deterrence. The income gap between the haves and the have nots is enormous. By upper middle class American standards, the homes of the “haves” seemed fairly modest. No enormous kitchens with steel appliances and marble countertops. Furniture and walls looked a little worn. But the homes are of a size that would feel comfortable to most Americans. They have electricity, running water and fully functional bathrooms.
In contrast, the poorer neighborhoods are populated with houses that are tiny squares – ten or twelve feet on a side. Probably no running water or electricity in most of them. It’s hard to imagine how a family can survive, much less thrive, in such a confined space.
In the city, begging is fairly common, especially begging from the azungu (white man). In the city, as soon as you step out of your car, you are accosted by someone with his (in my limited experience, the beggars were usually male) hands cupped together at his chest. “Hungry, mama. Hungry.” The staff at Project Peanut Butter made a joint decision not to give alms to any beggars. They felt it warps the economy if able bodied adults – and children who should be in school – learn that the most profitable use of their time is to beg. It was difficult to say no, knowing that we are wealthy beyond the imaginings of these people; but we did abide by the rules that the PPB team have set for themselves.
In the countryside, you see Malawi’s peasant farms struggling against incredible obstacles. There is absolutely no farm equipment. When you see a farmer hoeing the fields, she (usually it is a woman) is doing it by hand, with a homemade hoe. I’m told that Kamuzu Banda, who was the dictator of Malawi for 30 years, in a misguided effort to protect small farmers outlawed heavy farm equipment.
Less than 5% of Malawi’s arable land is irrigated, so there is only one growing season – and that one is vulnerable to the weather. Either too much rain or too little will doom the single harvest for a whole year. Most rural communities lack both paved roads and any sort of motorized transport, so farmers cannot move their own crops to market for sale. They are beholden to the middle man, who can pay low prices to farmers who must unload their crops before they go bad.
So much is broken in Malawi that it’s hard to imagine how to fix it. The infrastructure that supports a robust economy is completely absent – paved roads, public transport, irrigation, a good public health system, a broad electrical grid, industry to provide employment … all lacking. Project Peanut Butter’s Malawian staff says the current president, Bingu wa Mutharika, and his administration have made strides in paving roads and fighting corruption. In the current election, there is much discussion about improving food security for the country. The old ruling party proposes giving fertilizer to every farmer. The current administration proposes investing in irrigation, a more far-sighted solution.
According to Wikipedia, Malawi has made measurable progress in reducing poverty in the last 10 or 15 years. It’s hard for me to imagine what conditions must have been like in the late 80’s if that is the case.I think Billy’s concerns about the dependency that comes from begging can also apply on a national level. This is part of the argument that Dambisa Moyo makes in Dead Aid. I haven’t read her book – only heard about it last night – but I did some research and found some reputable experts* who think she doesn’t really support her argument that foreign aid is what is holding Africa back and should be eliminated in a few years. However, I do think that it’s really important for individuals and countries to be given the tools to eventually stand on their own economically.
So next year I think I’d like to give my contributors a choice of two ways to assist Malawi. Project Peanut Butter or an organization that is dedicated to fostering long term economic growth in the country. I’m thinking of supporting a microlending organization, maybe like http://www.microloanfoundation.org/ which has been set up specifically to help small entrepreneurs in Malawi. They make small loans and require the borrower to take training in setting up and running a little business. They don’t just hand out money; they help to ensure the borrower will be successful. I haven’t really decided yet … just starting to research alternatives.
As Billy mentioned, when he asked us to write, the text just kept flowing … I’ve been about writing a book on my observations. I will send him my Project Peanut Butter notes later. I’ll just say I was really touched by this trip. I am so glad we had the opportunity to visit … to see Malawi and PPB and Billy in action.* Here are two critiques of Moyo’s arguments:http://blogs.cgdev.org/globaldevelopment/2009/03/dambisa-moyo-discovers-key-to-ending-poverty.phphttp://zambian-economist.blogspot.com/2009/03/dead-aid-by-dambisa-moyo-review.html

First of three(?) parent posts.

Here's what my Dad thought of Malawi. Thought that giving you a first impression of Malawi I was never able to crank out, and an other perspective at how things are could be nice. Completely unedited by me, by the way. Mom is apparently writing an entire book on her five days in Malawi, but thats neither here nor there. Here I give the floor to my father...

Hello from the third world (well, a week late):

Billy asked me to record my impressions of the 5 days I spent in Blantyre Malawi. I am having a hard time writing a cohesive story line. There is too much detail to do this justice, plus I need time to sort out all I have seen. I will not be giving a traditional entry but a list of the different thoughts and impression I have formed. This may be a bit scattered.

Keep in mind I have been here for only 5 days and I am in no way any sort of expert. I don’t want to offend or misinform. I am sure I have confused a few facts or formed a few misconceptions about this place. So please treat this as a collection of random thoughts bouncing around in my scattered head.

A LITTLE BACKGROUND: Billy (our 18 year old son) is spending 9 months volunteering for Project Peanut Butter in Blantyre, Malawi, Africa. For those who don’t know, PPB is a research project run out of the Washington University/St. Louis Nutrition Project. I am not a hundred percent clear on all the players and organizational structure, but their overall goal is to develop better ways of treating malnutrition in the third world. So they are examining all aspects of malnutrition from the different contributions and causes to the different ways to treat. Malawi is one of the poorest countries in the world. Thus it is a perfect place to work on malnutrition problems.

Billy is technically a volunteer. He is one of 3 to 8 students/ researchers/ nurses/ doctors/ med students living and working for PPB in Blantyre. People come and go through out the year. From last September to this May, there were three long term members, Jay, Eleanor and Billy. Heidi, Amanda, Adam, Dr. and Ms. Manari (among others) would come and go through out the year. Billy started off helping out where he can, loading trucks, driving, passing out peanut butter, running errands and generally playing with the kids. In the last 6 months he has taken on more and more responsibility. Now he is part of the stool study team. They track a number of twins, examine kids, taking stool samples and preparing the sample for cryogenic storage. He also wrote (or help write) an ACCESS data base to assist in managing and analyzing the medical data.

ABOUT MALAWI: You have no idea how lucky you are. If you can read this, (have access to the internet) you are a very privileged person. We went to villages that don’t have running water, electricity or sewers. Places filled with grass roofs, goats, chickens, mud brick walls. For the most part everyone seems happy. If this is all they know, heaven can be an extra plastic trash bag.

HOUSING(middle class): Malawi has two somewhat large cities: Lilongwe (the capital) and Blantyre. Billy is staying in a city called Blantyre, population of several hundred thousand. He is staying in a compound with a fence, guards and dogs. The compound is owned by an Indian business man who lives there and rents out some of the extra apartments or houses. The PPB team has three of these houses/apartments. Each has a kitchen, bedrooms and a bath. There is a maid and cook who comes each day. This is not unusual for the middle class. Most live in a walled compound. Theft is a problem, guards are required. But I never felt unsafe or threatened. PPB was robbed this passed fall. The guards were over powered and they got away with some appliances and $1200 in cash. I am guessing, out of the half million of people in Blantyre, a few thousand can afford to live this way.

HOUSING(city folks): For two of the days of our visit, Ann and I helped out at one of the PPB clinics. Ann, Billy and I along with a driver (named Vegas) started out our day by driving to a nurse’s home (Jean) to pick her up. She lived in a less than glorious part of town. Homes were in varied conditions. Some were somewhat nice, some were very rundown. But what struck me, all were very small. I would guess less than 20x 20 ft and within 30 ft of each other. I saw electrical poles, but not all were wired. I saw water pumps here so I am guessing they don’t have running water. All the houses were right on top of each other, I don’t know what they do for sewage. I saw no evidence of public water/sewer. I suspect most in the city live this way.

HOUSING(the bush) In the country most live in a mud brick hut with grass roofs. I was not invited inside, but I am guessing they were about 20 x 20 ft single room homes with grass roofs. All were set within a corn fields. I expect every flat piece of ground is used to grow something. They are all subsistence farmers.

ROADS: On Monday, We woke at 4:30. Ate breakfast and were on the road by 5AM. We picked up the nurse (Jean) at her home. She lived down a dirt road so bad that a billy goat would have problems. After picking her up we drove about 1 hour down some pave highway. Turned off onto a dirt road and drove another hour. 4 wheel drive is a must in this country. There is no way to get to the villages unless you have 4 wheel drive. Billy slept most of the way. How, I don’t know.

Some of the major roads in the city are paved, some of the highways between the cities are paved. But the vast majority of all roads are dirt. Most of the dirt roads I saw haven’t been grated in years. Even the paved roads are laced with pot holes. No exaggeration, they make Pennsylvania roads look good.

ABOUT HIS ROOM MATES: Jay, Eleanor and Amanda, They are very nice people. While most med students are working hard to get their degree and start earning the big bucks, these three are willing to take time off, delay the education, to make this sacrifice. These are special people. Also they seemed to have taken a liking to Billy and helped him grow through this. Also he really looks up to Jay and Eleanor. I can see why. I look up to them too.

ABOUT THEIR DAY: Each day the team wakes sometime between 4:30 and 5. Eat Breakfast, leave about 5:00 to 5:30. Pick up a nurse and drive 2 hours to some remote village and set up a make shift clinic. Women and their babies walk for miles to get to the clinic. Once the mothers assembled they start by singing traditional Chichewa songs. The words are changed to convey some public health message or improved parenting skills. Then the kids are weighted, measured, poked and tested. They are given the Chiponde based on their weight and sent on there way. This lasts until 1 to 3 pm. They pack up, drive 2 hours back to Blantyre. Then clean out the trucks, repack for tomorrow, eat dinner, enter the day’s data, collapse in bed. Repeat the next day at a different village.

LABOR COSTS: For all you that have a garage, you most likely have a garage door opener. You know when you drive up to the house and need to open the garage door without getting out of the car? You press the button on the clicker hanging off the car’s visor, Yes? Well those in Malawi that have homes, they hire people to open and close the gate to the yard. For the compound where Billy is staying, the landlord hired a family to live in a small building by the gate to open and close the when cars come and go. I believe they also clean and maybe work within the house. The landlord also has guards walking around the compound at night along with gardeners and others working about the place. When I say guards, I am not talking of someone in uniform with a gun. I am talking about some guy in very dirty street clothes with a whistle. From what I am told he is not a rich man, no fancy cars, and the house could use a good coat of paint. It just that unskilled labor is so cheap.

TRANSPORTATION: In Malawi there is no public transportation (or at least none I saw). To get around they mostly walk. It is scary how far they walk, rain or shine. During rush hour, the streets are crowded with people. Even in the rural areas.

The other mode of public transportation is the privately owned mini-bus taxi. Take thousands of very broken down mini vans, place behind the wheels all the deranged mad men and nut cases you can find, fill them with twice the number of passengers design by the manufacturer; now you have a commuter bus transportation system. These mini buses start beeping their horns starting about 5 AM looking for customers. Sounds like Morse code being practiced. Each day they drive from villages to the city and back again. Malawi must not have any form of insane asylums. If you are nuts, crazy or a general menace to society, they make you a taxi driver.

BEGGING AND CLASS STRUCTURE: I saw this for my own eyes. There are three types of people in Malawi: Black Africans( the mass poor), Indians(business class), and Whites(rich). Just because you are white you have money. At the market, there are two sets of prices; white people prices and everyone prices. Every time a white person walks by the beggars come out of the wood work. Boy they know how to look pitiful. Should you give to the beggars? Every fiber of your body wants to empty your pockets to help these people. However, this quick fix and just encourages more begging. People will keep there kids out of school because they can make money begging. I don’t know what the right answer is. Watch “Slum dog Millionaire” some time.

The first time Billy and I were walking through Blantyre I was taken back by how pushy the beggars and vendors are. I was also surprise on how Billy responded to these people. He seemed rude on the verge of being mean. I was taken back. I didn’t think I raised my child to act this way. When Ann and I confronted him about this, he explained his actions this way… He and his two room mates had many discussions on this topic. To encourage kids to stay in school, be fair to all people and to discourage people from relying on begging; it was decided that they will not give outright to beggars. Only give them money if they provide some needed service and agree to the service (before hand). You pay them the going Malawi rate. This “Ed Koch” response is a hard standard to meet. Before you go out, you need to put on a “game face” to face the crowds. Do not look around, be clear on what you want and don’t want. Not rude, but forceful. And don’t give in to constant pestering. You want to encourage economic growth not dependency. Again, I don’t know what the right answer is.

MODESTY: In the city, fashion is pretty much similar to anywhere here. More men seem to wear suites to work more, even if they live in a slum. In the rural country side, things are very different. Men wear shirt and pants, no surprise. For women, it seems that the thighs are the sexy part of the female and should be covered up. All women wear a “Chitenje”. This is a 6x3 ft cloth that women wear as a skirt, wrap or carry a baby or two. Ann and the two female med students had to wear them while out in the rural villages, otherwise the woman would point, giggle and possibility be offended.

Now, if their baby cried or even fuss a little, the woman would instantly whip out a breast or two and feed the child, anywhere and at anytime, in front of me or anyone. I felt I was in a La Leche League convention.

BALANCE: I can juggle. I spent a summer in college learning how. I still juggle from time to time to relax. Over the years I have learned a few tricks and have seen some impressive juggling by professionals. They can’t hold a candle to the women in Malawi. I saw women balance a huge sacks of potatoes (25 lb at least) on their heads, kid strapped to her back, carrying things in both arms, walking down the road, for miles, turning to look at us as we drive by. I’m talking about balancing something on their heads without touching it! Walking miles! Carrying other stuff! Circuses will never be the same for me.

PARENTING: The mothers in the treat program get an allotment of PPB food/medicine at each visit to the clinic. Sometime the mother or father will sell the food or eat it themselves or share it with other children. How could you do this? What kind a parents are these people?

Then I hear that some of these women (Mothers, Grandmothers, Aunts and sometimes Fathers) would walk up to 10 to 15 km, one way, to get to the clinic. Each week. One mother walked from Mozambique crossing a major river by row boat. WOW

LIFE AND DEATH IN THE THIRD WORLD: Here I am very conflicted. Death is so pervasive; They fight this by having more babies. For the two days I helped giving out Chiponde, I estimate that at least half of the mothers with a sick child were months pregnant. Most were holding the hands of at least one other child. It seems mothers only gets only a few months between pregnancies. They don’t have enough food to eat, so they make more babies. When is the family too Big? I don’t get it.

Then I hear the Pope visited Angola and made statements about condom use. Ugh. Someone needs to rethink this life, death and reproduction stuff.

PICTURES: The rural villagers loved having their picture taken. Ann and I would take their picture and show them the image on the camera’s LCD screen. Adults and kids love seeing themselves.

A FEW PHRASES I CAME ACROSS:

Azungu – White people, Little boys would see us and call out this phrase in surprise and often wave. Like seeing a fire truck going by. I was a novelty.

Zikomo Kwambili - thank you very much, said with a little curtsy.

ADITUDE: These are very friendly people. While driving back to Blantyre, Ann and I asked the driver, Vegas, if he could stop to allow us to take a picture of a Mud brick hut. The nurse (Jean) told the driver to stop, Jean got out and walked into the yard of a two or three hut village. Jean called out and found the owner. After some discussion in a language I was clueless, the family sat with us and chatted for a few minutes while we took pictures. They were very nice.

We are just coming out of the “hungry season”. The peak of the Hungry Season (worst time) is right before the harvest. Everything is green and growing but you can’t eat it yet. Despite all the deprivations they endure, they can still be friendly and happy. How do they do this? I get so grumpy when I am hungry.

TRAVEL: Africa was never on our radar for potential travel places. Billy’s working for PPB was the only reason I went to Malawi. Originally I was not looking forward to this part of our trip. While I was there, I found it different than I expected. There were times I was so glad to be there and other times I wanted to run to any 1 to 2 star hotel, just to take a bath. But in the end I am glad I went.

SAYING GOODBY: Last summer I spent 6 weeks trying to talk Billy out of working in Malawi. I didn’t think this was a good idea and I didn’t think he was ready. Most of all I was afraid that he might fail somehow and it would really discourage him from taking on any future major endeavors. After seeming him work and operate I am no longer worry about his future. I was WRONG and Ann was RIGHT!

I am so proud of what Billy is doing this year and I look forward to his return.

Medium Bill

Need to mention this

Nothing big, just heard an interesting story. One of the mom's coming to chiponde clinic has a problem. 

Her husband is stealing all of her baby's chiponde....

(Oh well, regrettable but it's nothing all that unusual. But wait, there's more?) 

Her husband bought her from her parents to be his wife, probably when she wasn't that old...

(That's the first time I've ever heard of that kinda practice, but I'm not all that suprised...)

He bought another woman as well...

(OK...Polygamy isn't uncommon here but he had to buy both his wives...what kind of a loser is he...?)

She is afraid to hide the chiponde, because her husband might find out, become enraged, and beat her, for trying to feed her kid...So he is a misogynistic polygamist wife beater who has no problem starving his kids...

([Apologies folks but this has been removed for the sake of the little kiddies due to extensive profanity and violent imagery])

Anyway, just figured I'd share that with you.

Oh and I'm doing fine. Also, my parents came to Malawi a couple weeks ago and I'm gonna post something they've written on what its like here. Assuming they ever finish it anyway...

See you in a month and a week.

Not feeling a big post today...

Yeah I don't feel like writing a lot. I don't have a purpose to writing this, no reactions I'm trying to elicit or info to convey, just letting you know I'm alive.

George was replaced by one of the smartest drivers I've ever met. His English is better than mine. He is completely comfortable with his job. I felt like dead weight when I was teaching him, because he knew his job perfectly by the end of day two, and I had to observe for four days. Its too good to be true.

Stool study is running like it should. Nothing to say there.

A photographer came and left. His pictures were great and he took some really good videos. I'm looking forward to seeing what he produces.

I'm currently in a super posh South African casino. Quite the contrast. I feel so detached from all the people coming to spend massive amounts of money. But anyway first time in six months I'm getting some real vacation. Vacation where I don't even have to think about work. Quite relaxing.

Well, not much else to say. Seeya.

Mr Bill

P.S.

Remember those two terrible twins I talked about? The ones that elicited a stronger response than I had expected? Here's what happened. One twin lost 1.5 Kg's in the two weeks before we sent him to the hospital. He died twelve days later. The other twin, the one that lost 1 Kg survived, and is now recovering. Just figured I'd finish the story.

P.S.S.

In total I think 15 children have died in my study by now. Don't worry about me, I'm used to it. And hell, the main clinics treat so many children you can bet that they see a lot. One time I asked and Jay said he had news of three in one day. As ironic as it sounds, that's life.

Yet another death.

The new driver, I think I named him Gerald, died yesterday. I'll revert to his real name now, George. He has been very sick for as long as I have known him. Last monday he came to work even though he was terribly sick. He couldn't even drive back home. He was told to go to the hospital, but for whatever reason, he did not go. And then he died.

Welcome to Africa.

A better blog.

Ok this is Joy's blog, a much better, much more articulate, much more literary, and much more well researched blog. Everyone who reads my blog should read his as well, as there is some quality info on Malawi there.  And please leave some feedback on his blog would ya?

www.blantyrewire.blogspot.com

Oh and I guess I can start calling him Jay now, as his name is clearly there in his blog.

A day in the life...

I'm making a second rapid post because I don't think the vague references I've been making to how things are here is going to work without a real example.

I got to Makhwila today and found out that cholera is in the lower shire. There's only one case confirmed so far but considering that its a pandemic a relatively short distance away that isn't much comfort. For those of you that don't know, cholera is a particularly severe and lethal kind of diarrhea. It is caused by a bacteria, and causes all liquid in your body to be expelled from your butt in what is referred to as "rice water stool." Those who have it lose liters and liters of water each day, and if you don't get as much water as you lose, you will die. The possibility of getting this disease scares the crap out of me. Anyway, I didn't eat until we left and when we did I scrubbed my hands more than Lady Macbeth to make sure I got everything off them. 

Today was a typical day, nothing extremely unusual happened. Keep that in mind.

To get away from the (possible) cholera patients nearby, we crowded into a cramped hot room. There were 12 of our 14 scheduled kids stooling, and one of the two healthy kids turned out to be malnourished, so make that 13. Plus we enrolled three new kids, so make that 16. Which is 32 stools to do. Not counting a couple others we needed so make that 36. Busy busy busy. Plus we had to buccal smear, which took more time. All in all, it ran well, busy, hot, tiring, and long. in most respects a manageable day. As always there was a few fat, very healthy babies from families that are probably fairly well off. (By Malawian standards at least)

The not-so-good things, but nonetheless not unusual things were as follows. We had one mom who didn't come for the umpteenth time, and we kicked her out of the program. We have had a lot of those. One person Victor went to fetch was found to be in mourning. One of the twins had died two days ago, and was just buried yesterday. The mom was in no condition to go. As soon as she is able, we will try to have her come for a few more visits, and then we will discharge her. This serves both to get some more data to wrap up the set, and to give the mom a little extra (in the way of incentives) to get through the mourning. We have had far too many of these kids. I'm not sure if I will recognize the remaining twin when she comes back, but the names sounded familiar. Also there were two twins on chiponde today who did terribly over the last two weeks. Both lost a quarter and a fifth of their weights, respectively, and one of them is not eating. Their heads resembled raisins in the way the skin was stretched across their heads and the veins were popping out. The worse of the two had a terrible diaper rash, and both looked like skeletons. We sent both to the Nutritional Rehabilitation Unit, or NRU, were they will be observed and made sure to eat properly. I have a fifty-fifty bet that I will never see one of them, and a twenty-five - seventy-five bet that I never see either. Its not that I don't want them to recover, but when you've seen so many you can kinda gauge how likely it is for the children to survive. 

Not meant to depress or scare anybody, I just felt like I hadn't gotten it across well yet. 

A day in the life of a volunteer in Malawi.

TTYL

---He who is tired of the cute babies dying.

Wow I can talk a lot...

Hey, it has been a while hasn’t it? I haven’t had much time to spare in a while, and the little I did I didn’t want to spend conscious. Well, I’ll try to keep it semi – short, so as to not bore any of you…assuming my long hiatus hasn’t killed everyone’s interest. It’d kill mine. Anyway, in a token effort at getting things in chronological order even though I can’t remember most of the details anymore, I will start with my trip to Mozambique.

The trip there was half of the adventure. At expensive half at that. We – Victor, Joy (Male), and I – left on Friday, after clinic was finished, heading for Victor’s home town of Tete. We left the compound at five o’clock, thinking that if we made it to the border by six; we’d be able to cross. We got there at fifteen after. Wasn’t a big deal though, apparently the border closed at nine! Sweet! (Don’t worry; the six o’clock closing will bite us in the ass later) And this is where the bribes start. Victor wasn’t given a piece of necessary paperwork for the truck we rented; to he gave someone a bribe to acquire it for him. Necessary. The next one wasn’t. Joy and L ordered a student (twelve month) Visa more than six months ago. Even now, they still don’t have them. So when we tried to cross, there was this big, fat, corrupt Malawian (with a big scar on his nose) staring at us. For you’re reference, there are three main groups in Malawi. Blacks = natives. Indians = Businessmen. Whites/Wazungus = Humanitarian aid. AKA, people with money. So when he saw us, he immediately decided that he was gonna make us bribe him. Didn’t matter why, he was just looking for his justification. And when he saw that Joy didn’t have his passport updated (because he is still waiting for his student visa) he saw his chance. Didn’t matter that we had the receipt for the pending visa, he just wanted a cut. Victor’s reaction was simply, “This is Africa.” He didn’t put up with any baseless shit though. When the border officials tried to make him pay for some rice he had in the truck he raised hell till they backed off. Soo pissed off.

And this is where the six o’clock problem hit. Turns out, the Malawi border closes at nine, but the Mozambique border closes at six! The boss there raised hell about us making him work after hours, which is weird, because someone else did all the work; all he had to do was sign. Plus we payed fifty bucks…whatever we got across.

So then we had about an hour on the road where there were huge potholes (lakes) in the road, with many, many half-destroyed buildings which we couldn’t see. I’m estimating an hour, because I fell asleep. In a total of three hours or so we were in Tete. IT WAS SOO COOL!!! I mean, they had LAMPOSTS! And GOOD ROADS!!! And CULTURE! ART! GRAFFITI!! MUSIC! It was culture shock. Victor’s sister served us chambo (Fish) and intestines with liver in it. I am proud to say that while I was not the first to try it, I did eventually eat it. (It is VERY rude not to try everything put before you) Intestines are rubbery and I wouldn’t recommend them, but its perfect food if you’re feeling adventurous. I played some playstation with one of the kids there as well and then we slept. Or actually only I did; Victor (typically) got up too early for me to call what he did “sleeping,” and Joy was too hot to sleep. Oh I forgot to mention that didn’t I? Tete is hot as HELL. Like a sauna. Or a furnace.

The next day we drove around for something close to two hours meeting Victor’s many relations. Following which, in African tradition, we fit about 6 more people than we should be able to into our truck, and drove to another town, about six hours away. I fell asleep that way too. Then we saw the dam, which was amazing. This huge cement structure obstructing a river, with such power flowing through it that you can feel the cement vibrating! I have tons of pictures from that trip. We even got to go inside, and even though we weren’t supposed to take pics Victor’s cousin took a bunch under his arm. I felt justified anyway, because the tour guide was letting his personal friend take videos, and if they are going to flaunt the rules, why not us too? (As long as we don’t get caught of course)

After that we opted to not go to home yet, because no one wanted that long of a car ride yet, and because there was a disco to go to. After waiting about three eternities for the women to get ready, we headed off, to a terrible disco with no people. We didn’t leave there nearly fast enough. The second one was packed though, and was a lot of fun, though I still felt like I was merely attempting to “dance.”

Once we woke up the next day we spent all day driving back, with a short stop in Tete to eat. We got back home really late. I don’t think Victor or Joy slept at all the whole trip and I think I consumed more than my body mass in cokes. What fun.

Christmas was good in another way. I had received a couple gifts from the ones who spawned me, namely candy and books. My dad gets most of the credit for that, because I know my mom did not pick out Dune and the new Ender’s Game book. (Both of which were GREAT by the way) Some comics were also included, but those two were the big ones. So we spent the weekend doing nothing in a “resort.” (by Malawian standards) I indulged a few pleasures there, namely video games, books, and LOTS OF MUSIC. It was fantastic. I do not kid you when I say that I did nothing for four days or so. Which was amazingly refreshing.

After that we drove to Lilongwe to pick up Joy and his sister. She stayed for two weeks, and spent many of them on trips with Joy. Not much to say about her, she didn’t talk much, but in the rare occurrences it was nice to talk to someone my age. (It was also fun to see Joy dote on her a little. He is an older brother after all.) Oh and he brought me CD’s from home. (again from the parents) To summarize, Fuel, Hinder, Nickelback, Three Doors Down, and Shinedown all kick ass. Panic at the Disco is not good live, at all…I felt my memories of the songs I liked be slowly, horribly raped as I heard what they sounded like live. Trapt is good, but they changed their style in Only through the Pain, and the jury is still out on them. If you didn’t know already, I’m a music addict, and it plays a big part in keeping me sane, hence why it gets a part in the blog.

In the past weeks I’ve been working very hard. I’ve entered all the data that we used to have piled up, which took way longer than I would have liked. But it’s done. Finally. 1200 cards divided by 20 cards an hour = 60 hours, done mostly by me. You may applaud now. We also got new buccal smears (To determine if kids are identical by DNA) which has made clinic crazy…how many kids do you think sit quietly while you stick a foreign object in their mouth?...OK except for the newborns that will suck on anything. Oh and we have 235 sets of twins enrolled now, and a typical day involves 15-30 sets (30-60 twins) and as many as 15 may need to give us stool. (Actually next month they will all need to go…stupid three month visits…) I spend a lot of time working on the flowchart for Dr Manary, and repacking the truck, and keeping track of supplies.

We have lost 16 sets of twins. I think approximately eight kids have died. And eight sets have defaulted too much, and we kicked them out. So that’s like 1-2% mortality rate in our study over six months, where all the kids aren’t even malnourished. (FYI, under five mortality in Malawi is approxmately 1% for healthy babies, 4% for moderately malnourished children, and 16% for severe. 2/3 die with kwash if untreated. It isn't that we are doing badly but that children DIE here.)

 

Also it’s HUNGRY SEASON, when the land is green and no one has food. Our sites are exploding with kids coming to be treated. I think there are upwards of 200 kids coming to some of our sites now, and it is only going to increase, Which means that the amount of cards to enter is gonna go up too. One site enrolled 30 kids (1.5 hours) not counting the other site that day. Luckily, stool study will be mostly spared an increase on our already formidable workload, except that there will be many more sick, and consequently stooling babies. In other words, we wont get huge amounts of enrollments, but we will get huge amounts of stools. Yay for the pooper scooper! (ME!)

I’ve been rambling for a while, and I’m sure I’ve lost at least half of my initial readers, but here’s my last recap. We have three new people staying right now, Dr Manary, his wife Mardi, and a photographer, Jeff. Mardi is super nice, and calls me a dear boy all the time, without saying it patronizingly, so she is good company. Dr Manary came and he has been giving me some real praise, and I feel like I’m doing my job really well. And Jeff is very idealistic, to my cynicism, and he is trying to make some media to raise money for the project. All in all it’s nice to have such a crowd, but I think I will be thankful when it’s nice and quiet again.

So that’s generally how things’ve been going. I hope some of you back home will be patient with me, and keep in some form of contact even though it’s so hard for me to get back to you.

TTYL

He who is enjoying his first relaxed day in a long while, thanks to Leslie.

A post is in the works

I haven't been had time to make any posts in a while. I'm working on an extensive post talking about my trip to Mozambique, the lake, and everything else interesting that has happened. Its still in the works, so it might be a week or so more. 

Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. 

Goodnight.

Bleh

I'm sorry I haven't posted again. Not having a computer I can use is killing my ability to post when coupled with the fact that I am getting home late most days now. And its going to get more busy when I get the database sent to me, because then data entry will start up again . . . and the editing of the database . . . and making a new one for stool study . . . it's just going to be a lot of work. Which is good, because Hannah works so much its insane, and I'm feeling like I'm slacking or something, but I guess you get to work that hard when you're a doctor. 

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that, though I don't think that any of you took it seriously, I sure haven't seen any signs that anyone did, but four posts a week is unsustainable. In fact, any amount of required posts is impossible at present. So the favor game I made up has to die. If you actually want to collect, all favors gained till now still stand, but I can't continue. Its not possible.

So anyway, there have been lots of stuff happening the last two weeks. We started enrolling newborn babies. I chased a chicken for forty minutes and it ended up stuck in a bush. Because I'm was having some trouble (very little, more like scraping by) buying enough food myself, my stipend was doubled. (I have NO FREAKING IDEA what I am going to do with that money.) Leslie left and came back from vacation. Random food buying and whatnot. The nurse for stool study who's "name" I forgot again's sister in law died, so we lost her for a day or two. I had massive abdominal pain at our overnight stay at Namandanje one week, and merely got a little sick the next week . . . Yeah I've decided that I'm in an abusive relationship with that place, I always end up sick or something when I go there, but anyway . . . I rode on top of the truck for half an hour, on Malawi roads. I met one of the people who runs the peace corps here. And lots of other random stuff that you could expect from me.

So you see, I'm alive. I'm fine. And the workload is only going to get bigger, so my posts will become less frequent. Actually this took to much time too, gotta go.

TTYL

---He who needs to pack the car for tomorrow now.

Sorry.

Well, its been quite a twelve days since I last posted. I don't have time to fill you in on everything yet, but I'll tell you why I've been absent, if only to assure you that I'm still alive. This month is approximately three months since the stool study started. Healthy babies get stool collected every three months. So EVERYONE is pooping now. And it only takes one stubborn kid with powerful sphincter muscles to keep us at the site forever. I've been sick, I think I'm finally over all of it, but I thought that a month ago too, when this freaking cold first hit me. And for some reason no matter what I do, nothing ever seems to time right so I can get to Icon cyber cafe in time to post. I'm working on it. Oh, and last week makes the fourth time I haven't posted enough, so there will be loads of favors. Yeah I think four is biting off more than I can chew. So anyways, I'm alive. I'm (Hopefully) healthy. 

TTYL

---He who now owes WAY too many people favors.

P.S. I'm desperate and this post delayed my sleep. So just this once I'm counting this little nothing of a post as one of my four this week.

Lazy day, Sick Sick Sick...

Ok this mac is giving me trouble...I'm gonna fix this post tomorrow, but now whenever I try to copy-paste my post it just goes below the page. I mean, blog entry post, little blue line, all my text. And when I publish with it there, nothing gets posted. Anyway, if you see this, sorry , but I don't have the energy to retype the whole thing.

I really need to learn how to slash through stuff no longer pertinent, anyone got a clue?

Today had been quite a lazy day. Joy (Male) and I have been up for a while, me for about 6 more hours than he, and we haven’t really done much productive work all day. Granted I’ve been trying to learn Access for the last hour, but I don’t count no progress as ‘productive work.’ Access is just confusing, and the manual she brought on the CD was junk. I mean, it has lots of great details and whatnot, but it sucks terribly as a tutorial. Thanks SO MUCH Mom for telling Hannah to NOT bring an access manual. Urgh. Anyway, the reason jay and I are stuck here instead of being out in the field is because we’re both recovering from sickness.

I got sick two weeks ago. It progressed from runny nose to sneezing to coughing to wheezing and all the way back to runny nose over two or three days. Then it stayed at runny nose, with occasional recurrences of coughing. Then Joy caught my sickness, and he’s been getting worse and worse until yesterday he broke out in a high fever, shortly after I was sent home early for having a high fever. Also, I have been having a recurrence of the dehydration type lightheadedness. If you recall, in a post about a month ago I talked about how I got so dizzy I couldn’t even stand? Well it never really went away. I have had very small bouts of dizziness every time I stand up since. I mean very small. But last Monday it started coming back heavily. So I made sure to eat and drink lots and tried to stave it off, but on Tuesday it got so bad I had to lay down, and I broke out in a fever so high even I could feel I had one. Or maybe the fever was the cause of the dizziness as well? Who knows? Who cares? All I know is that I’m running a very small fever now (.2 degrees) and I’m feeling loads better. And YES dad, I’m drinking lots of water.

Now because I’ve been kinda out of it the last few days, I cant supply any more for a normal post, so here’s a little more about MARAWI!!!

Malawians have a very interesting language. In Chichewa, all words, ALL words, end in vowels. This has caused me to be named by Malawians who can’t speak any English, Bilo. Kinda funny, at the Adventist hospital I got written in as Bilo Sharp. Hah. Also, there are very, very standardized greetings here. (Note: There are no spaces between some words because no pause is pronounced.) When you meet someone you say, “Muli Bwanji?” (Mu = You, Li = are, Bwanji = How) To which one responds, and I have suspicions that this would be the response even if your mother died, “Ndiri Bwino, Kayainu?” (Ndi = I, ri = is, Bwino = Fine, Kaya = and, Inu = You) To which one responds, you guessed it, “Ndiri Bwino.” I actually like to add Kayainu to the end of the second one, just to see if I can get a volley going. Now at this point some of the more observant ones of you are going, wait, Li and Ri are the same word, WTF? This ties in to how you pronounce Chichewa, where most L’s and R’s are interchangeable. I can’t articulate what it sounds like over the blog, but if you can try to merge an L sound with an R, that’s how most of the words here are pronounced. Malawi is an exception, the L is distinct, but Leslie likes to call it MARAWI anyway. (Yes it is caps for a reason. I can’t articulate how she sounds when she says is but it’s pretty funny, and caps is the closest I can get.) Moving on, if its early morning instead of, “Muli Bwanji,” one says “Mwadzuka Bwanji?” (Mwa = You, dzuka = rise, bwino = h…oh wait I already told you that one didn’t I?) And the response is, “Ndadzuka Bwino, Kayainu?” (Nda = We) I won’t insult your intelligence by supplying you with the second response. Now I’m sure that was shell shockingly different than the last one right? But it gets better. If it’s in the evening you say, “Mwaswela Bwanji?” (Swela = play.) Replace Mwa with Nda and I’m sure you can figure the responses out on your own; you’re big boys and girls right? So that is the entirety of the Malawian greetings. How are you, how did you rise (I think this one means did you sleep well), and how did you play (I theorize, going out on a limb here, it means did you have an enjoyable day). But should you ask a Malawian to describe Mwadzuka, they would just say, it’s the morning greeting. The meaning isn’t even important anymore. Which is why many Malawians have dropped the Bwino and Bwanji in the morning and evening greetings. “Mwadzuka?” “Ndadzuka, Kayainu?” “Ndadzuka.” In case you were wondering this equates to “You rise?” “We rise, and you?” “We rise.” Doesn’t make much sense, but I do find it REALLY amusing that if one were to go to say, a Malwian party, and greet all the guests you would (probably) use the same one every time. Isn’t that something? Thats it. Three standardized greetings. Anyone who even casually knows me knows that is EXCRUTIATING for a smartass like myself. I can't say, ARGH I'm doing terribly! Or anything else. The Malawians would just stare at you! So. Frustrating.

I don’t know much more Chichewa…both the Chichewa books are in someone else’s possession at the moment, so for now…


TTYL

---He who is glad the world has decided which way is up…again…

We Got robbed!

I woke up at 6 oclock today...three hours earlier than I should have...to the knocking of one of our guards on my window. After cursing him, his family, and all of the progeny he may ever procreate, or the progeny they may procreate, I rolled out of bed, put my pants on, and went outside. I then, half asleep, followed him to the Downhouse, our supply area, to find the bars bent.

I'll shorten the three hour ordeal into a paragraph or two for you guys. What was stolen: 200,000 kwatcha, (1250 dollars) some oil, and our printer. A guard was apparently ambushed ant tied up. The dog may or may not have been barking its head of at midnight, depending on whether you believe the landlord or his son. Right now though, we don't know exactly who stole the stuff, or where it is. Were the guards in on it? We don't know. It is strange that the robbers knew which house was empty, that the guards would not patrol, and where the servants quarters were, because they put the dog there. WHATEVER. I'll keep you posted if anything new comes up.

Oh, and because we ran out of some ingredients, we cant get the cmv for the ten percent chiponde, and we have to stop enrolling. Yay. That means all my frantic work over the last two weeks has been for NOTHING.

So anyway, heres my responces to your comments...

"Wonder if any of you noticed..."

Medium Bill - Its a pain getting UP with five hours of sleep. Not the dinner. Jeez.

Ulf - Actually the head cold refuses to leave. I still have a runny nose.

Rita - Glad you dont think I've lost my destructive touch. =)

Aggie - I would have loved to be in the states, as it was I felt really detached from it all.

"Classifying BABIEZ"

Kellye - Its ok, I knew you were slow for a long time. I'm real happy to hear that you had been reading it before though (Am I inferring that right?)

Ms Megonigal - COOL! You're reading this? AWESOME!!! You're the best btw, just so you know. Oh and Me and Billy? Do you think I'm Brian? Nonetheless, I'm not sure you're nerves would be able to take another year of "me and Billy."

Malawi Mom - Uhm...my mom taught me it was fun to decapitate small woodland creatures...is that terrible too?

Hannah is coming!"

Aunt Jo - I will never forget. In fact, I was very dissapointed when I realized it doesnt work o her anymore.

Kellye - Guess what Kellye, ITS OPPOSITE DAY! (My retort to "ay. To. Go.")

SO thats it for now, If I get more internet time I'll extend my responces.

TTYL

---He who is glad the computers WERE NOT in the downhouse.

Hannah is coming!

Hannah, a new doctor person is coming today. It will be interesting, because as Leslie put it, "We have the same conversations over and over, and it will be nice to have her here instead of having to role-play her." Really though, I'm kinda excited, because I've heard so many people talking about her (Many of them contradicting each other) and this will be the day we get to meet the mystery person!

Thing on the bugs of last night, I was recently told people eat them here...which is why we only found the wings this morning...

So here comes a post I've been meaning to make for a long time...What is it actually like to live in a third world country?

Well we have everything here that you have in a first world country. There are cars, air conditioning, planes, roads, government, police, computers, Etc. However, only the very rich have them. And the condition of the luxuries here is a far degree lower than it is in the states. The cars break down all the time, the computers aren't half as good as back home, the police don't have cars, roads are shitty, planes only arrive twice a week, and the government mildly corrupt (better than in previous administrations) and to a certain degree, ineffectual. We have only been in air conditioning once. And EVERYONE is walking or riding a bike. Or riding in one of those minibus deathtraps, if they can afford it. And this is in the cities, where everyone is sort of well off, by malawian standards. In the villages, people live like the 18th century or earlier. Starvation isn't something to bemoan, its just a part of everyday life. Water is pulled from pumps, and there is no good education, unless you pay for it. Compare this to the states where people can squander everything they are given (on a silver platter no less) and still have their god given right to a car and a roof over their heads. Its amazing how lucky we are, my readership and me, to be born in a country where everything is provided for, and you barely have to work to get such luxuries as we take for granted. I say this because I have seen children aged three or less hoeing their "gardens" (Fields) with a hoe that is bigger than them. In comparison most in first world countries just amble their way through life without a care in the world. Seriously, thank whatever deity you pray to, or to fortune if you like me, that you were so damn lucky to be born where you were, for nothing you have ever accomplished, no matter how hard you worked, would be possible here.

TTLY

---He who hopes Hannah has a sense of humor.

Classifying BABIEZ

Hey y’all. How have you been? You watched the election? Of course you did. Irrespective of your political affiliation, did the results surprise any of you? I’ll just let you in on a couple things from this end. Every one of the nurses exploded with joy when they heard, which is funny, considering that if they knew what he stood for; all the progressive things like gay rights and having government not regulate abortion, they would probably not have supported him. One of our med students, who I won’t name, actually cried when he/she heard the news. I didn’t really react, I was sure Obama was gonna win. Here’s another interesting tidbit. Kenya declared a national holiday when Barack won. They also started clearing the road to Obama’s grandma’s house, in anticipation of a visit by him. I’m not sure, but I don’t think it’s extremely likely (right now I’m stuck on 50-50) that Barack will pay a visit so someone (I think) he’s never seen before.

Anyway, lets shift the focus back onto a far bigger and more important issue, ME!

Note. It wasn’t the get together with the girls that was ‘a pain,’ it was only having 5 hours of sleep.

Let’s see let’s see. Tuesday night the azungus (Me Lelsie and Joy (Male) ) went to Maky’s to watch the election. We got to see the typical finishing speeches, including McCain’s pathetic, “The Mac is back!” I’m sorry but no one that old should try to refer to himself as ‘The Mac.’ We got kicked out around 11-ish, and we then went home and collapsed (Eleven is really late for us). We found out who won the election while driving to clinic. And Wednesday was a pretty typical day, except that I went back to the compound instead of going to Namandanje. Yaaaay! I got to enter LOTS of data. More on that later. So I got home and what do I do? Drive under the overhang that covers the cars. Which is unusual, considering my usual spot is more off to the side, but anyway…there was a chair on the top of the truck…and just so you know…chair legs VS net thing…net thing wins. After faceplanting the wheel in frustration, I pulled it off the car. I spent the next two hours trying to get in touch with Leslie, who had told me that I HAD to call her. I eventually did, turned out she left her phone in the car for a while. And lastly I went to Maky’s again, to get some nice ambiance while entering data, only to find that ambiance ruined by three grown women with spirits of pre-teen school girls ruining it by talking way too loud, way too much, way too fast, about way too little.

So that’s Wednesday…wonderful wasn’t it? Lesse, isn’t much to say about Thursday. I finished the pile of three hundred or so cards I’ve been working on for the last week…only to be depressed by the fact that the next pile of cards is just as big. BLEH. Victor and I picked up a car that just got finished in the shop…and shifted all the stuff out of the Land Rover (The usual stool study truck) into the newly fixed one. Then he drove the Rover to the shop. Yaaay. Oh, but things get interesting late at night. Now there had been TORRENTIAL downpours all day Thursday…a sign the hungry season is upon us…and when it rains the little bugs I mentioned crawl out of everywhere, and apparently they come out in proportion to how much it rains…so when it was dark outside and the lights were on we heard this smacking sound against our window…and it was a whole swarm of them smacking against our light outside, and some were hitting the window. Some found their way inside too…freaks…I don’t understand how these bugs survive…they basically emerge after a rain, exhaust themselves, and die after they have thoroughly exhausted themselves. Seriously, the ground underneath the lights looks like a battlefield with all the dying bugs or whatever you call pavement covered with dying bugs…(Personally I think it’s a joy!) One good thing though, any bugs that enter the house eventually exhaust themselves, and then the lizards (which I don’t mind) eat them! Woohoo! I don’t even have to clean up the bodies! Fan-freaking-tastic! So the war to keep our houses free from these pests has begun…I only hope I may take many of the bastards out in the process.

Quick note. The Net has been screwy since the torrential rains on Thursday. One thing I don't get. How is all the net out EXCEPT Google? WTF!?! Someone needs to explain how that works...

Moving on. Friday. Uhm…normal day? Not many kids…no defaulters…But I do have one question for you, my somewhat loyal viewership. Does it make me a bad person if I get my kicks off making kids cry? Let me give the context. Over the almost two months I’ve been here I have created five categories for kids I see at clinics. One: young kids, four to nine years of age. Pal around with them. Noogies go over well. Two: boring babies who give no reaction to anything you do. Ignore them. Three: Very, Very sick babies. Be very gentle, and pity them. Isn’t much else you can do, babies that are really malnourished have no energy to do anything. Four: FUN BABIES!!! Babies that are bright eyed, will play with you, smile, and actually have fun with an azungu! Wonderful, and play the hell out of them. It took me a while to realize that one of the pairs at today’s site were a type four, and I had loads of fun after I figured that out…but I digress…Type 5:…Crying babies. Babies that cry a lot, especially the ones that cry whenever I look at them. I’m talking I look: WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAAH! I look away:...Silence…Antagonize these babies! Don’t do anything that is really mean, but look at them a lot, make faces, noises…anything to make them cry again! I guess it kinda annoys me that they just start crying whenever I look, so I’m trying to cure them of it…kinda a trial by fire…plus it kinda makes me laugh when they cry for no real reason…Does that make me a bad person?

TTYL

---He who is preparing for the battle tonight…it rained…

Wonder if any of you noticed...

It’s been a long couple-a days.

To start off, I’ve been getting progressively sicker since Friday. Before I cause any other heart attacks, it’s just a head cold. But it started off as that annoying mucus in the back of my throat, and now I’m coughing all the time. Or at least I was. I think I got over most of it today.

So anyway, my pathetic total card entry over the weekend was eighty. Twenty behind. Isn’t that grand? I entered forty yesterday, so I think I compensated.

And in other weekend news, it rained. A fair amount. I hate the rain. Even though it causes the sky to darken and this freaking place to (finally!!!) get cool. Why? Because when it rains these ant-fly things swarm out of the ground and fly straight towards all bright lights (Our house). So irritating.

Also, last Saturday when Joy (Male) and I were walking to Maky’s, we encountered some of the volunteers working at the orphanage next door. I won’t bore you with the details, but they invited us to take a visit. Joy had time to make the visit, I didn’t (Card entry) but when he was there he got us invited to a birthday dinner. It was at a nice Italian restaurant, and we drove them because they don’t have cars. It was pretty nice, there were four girls, ages 25-27, three from the UK and one from the US. It was pretty fun, we talked about Chiponde, England, Politics, Accents, whatever came up. We got to bed late though. That was a pain.

Speaking of pains, Monday morning this terrible horn player kept me up for half an hour! He sucked, and if I had found him I would have shoved his horn through his EYE for playing at four in the freaking morning!

Monday. Monday. What a stressful day for Leslie. Stool study was OK, but we stayed late, and because of the way we had been doing things, we kept Leslie late as well. And she had already been irritated because of 10 defaulters, kids that weren’t being fed, and other annoying things. Did I mention it was freaking hot outside? When we drove with the windows down it felt like a furnace. And when we got to Icon, the net café, we found out that the car we had been driving didn’t have a parking break. Have I ever mentioned the parking at Icon is on a hill? I didn’t? It is. And Icon was packed. We had to wait twenty minutes. It is near impossible to stress me out, but I’m surprised Leslie didn’t EXPLODE at this point. Everything had gone wrong Monday.

Tuesday starts off funny, and then gets boring real fast. Well, because of the parking break issue, we wanted to switch cars. So I get up, run over in time to get Victor as he’s coming in, and we completely unload and reload the truck. Then we drive to pick up Jennifer, which is what I am naming the awesome stool study nurse. Partway there, we notice a light isn’t going off on the dashboard. Turns out, the fan belt broke. By the time we got back the car was smoking. And then unload and reload the cars. What fun! This put us an hour behind schedule, which makes a big difference when you have to wait for a tyke to poop. Victor made up for it though, by driving really hella fast. I should know, I was leaning on a bag of flour and still got bruises from all the bumps. Once we got there everything went normally. Only one funny thing to mention, we are weighing kinds who have already been fed now, and this one kid shit all over the scale. It was great in a way, I just grabbed it in bag and there’s his stool. I think this might become a kinda last resort. The kid won’t poop? Leave him on the scale for a while. And if any of you were wondering (and I might have already said this) people DO lose bowel control when they get scared. I can’t count the number of kids that have peed on the scale and height board, and this poop incident just further proves it.

And that’s it for me…now let me look at those comments…

"A day at the court..."

Kathleen - It went well, the fine ended up being the equivalent of 20 bucks.

Rita - I thought I blow things up/lose them?

Bernie - Tell Elicia I'm feeding little kids like her peanut butter!

Aggie - I STILL havent had the chance to read all you wrote, I guess when (If) I get a computer I'll let you know my reaction then.

Liz - Haha. I didn't lose them.

Aunt Jo - I actually have a clip and I have only lost one key. A long Time ago.

"Guess what, I drove to make this post!"

Dad - OF COURSE I'm trying to kill you. I thought we had already been over this.

Mom - Getting stuff out is gonna be hard...I don't have constant computer access and thinks are kinda hectic here...

"Cards...Cards...CARDS!!!"

Aggie - Just a predicion here. Obama.

Malawi Mom - Hasn't the world always been orange?

Medium Bill - It rained. No hike.

Uncle D and Aunt J - RAAAAH I dont have any more time to respond I have to go crap!!! I'm glad to hear you're finally wading into technology though. =)

TTYL

---He who wonders if anyone noticed there were only three posts last week?

Cards...Cards...CARDS!!!!

As the title suggests, cards are filling up all my free time...actually I see orange wherever I look...maybe I'm starting to lose it...haha. But seriously, I've entered 50 so far and will probably enter 50-75 more before today ends. I've been to Macky's today, and we might go for a hike. Then more cards. Cards. Cardies. Hah...

Oh and I am still allowed to drive, as it is one of the things that every worker here needs to be able to do. Not that I'm jumping on it, I still hate driving. But when I have to I am able to.

This post isn't gonna be long, I couldn't prepare ahead of time, and there isn't much to say about today. So I can't fit in much of an about Malawi, but heres a little one.

You might think that africa is full of wildlife, but you'd be dead wrong. Other than little lizards, there is barely any wildlife here. Outside of preserves of course. Why is that? All of the natives eat all the animals. In fact there are only two animals that remain now. One, Monkeys. Why? They are too smart to get themselves eaten. (Made me laugh, Monkeys:1 People:0) The other animals are hippos. And that is just because...well hippos are big sunsaguns. You make one mad and you might be taken out of the gene pool. And that is todays quick posty.

TTLY

---He who is REALLY tired of cards

Guess what, I drove to make this post!

Wednesday was typical. Go to Chamba, (Wednesday’s site) feed kids, collect their poop. Whup-tee-do. Not much to say about the site itself. Then we drove to Namandanje. Seemed normal so far, long drive. Etc. etc. Only difference was that because some more people were going to the mission, we had to leave half at a motel.

Now I will tell you this, simply because I have, probably inadvisedly, taken my entire readership into my confidence. Oh, and by the way, I’m not trying to make this blog particularly “deep” or anything; I’m just too ‘lazy’ to omit anything. Now here’s the bit. If you have been reading recently, you will have read two posts ago my super long reply to a one paragraph question. Now one of the things I mentioned was that I thought that when you die, probably, everything you are just disappears. Now, that has never been a particularly scary concept for me, after all, what do you have to fear about nothing? But here’s the thing, anyone with a reasonable amount of experience will know that there is a huge gap between thinking and understanding. And also, many of you know that there are some understandings that no matter how hard you ponder you will reach. Some can only be obtained by accidentally stumbling onto them. And this is what happened while my brain was meandering on the car ride. I accidentally fell upon what my view on death actually means. And let me tell you it was terrifying. I can’t even explain how the realization felt, but my chest clenched up and my heart rate went crazy. But the most surprising thing was that I was able to suppress the feeling in about ten seconds. I’m not sure how, whether by rationalization or what, but I forced it away. I spent the rest of the day thinking about it, not really sure whether I was trying to find that understanding again, or make sure I never stumbled onto it ever again.

So anyway that’s always in the background on Wednesday. Later, when we reached Namandanje, I tried to get some alone time watching the football game, but 15-20 kids flocked to me. I couldn’t lose them for an hour. After that hour, when it was getting dark, I went back to the church and lay on the steps for another hour. After that I got a phone call from Joy (Male) asking where I was because they were about ready to get a search party ready for me. I had been trying to hide, so I wouldn’t get crowded again, but I guess I hid too well.

Here comes the fun part. The ‘people’ coming to the mission were a couple from Italy (where the father comes from) and were going to have a traditional African wedding. Naturally Namandanje turned out to welcome them. There were four drummers, a truck with speakers in it, and about a hundred or so dancing Africans. We heard when the groom arrived (They were arriving separately) because there was this explosion of noise as all of the Africans roared and increased their partying. So naturally we went to go look. It was HILLARIOUS. There were so many people dancing, singing, many of them plastered, many of them (women included) shirtless. (Actually I would have never noticed that last part had Joy not pointed it out to me; I’ve seen more women breastfeeding than anyone should ever be subjected to, and I don’t really notice anymore.) In fact they actually went into the car and dragged out the family, or everyone they could, the grandpa was DECIDEDLY not coming out. Haha. The groom was just talking to the father, but the others actually started dancing. The best part was when this really, really, really, plastered guy who had uprooted a banana tree earlier to wave it around slammed it onto the back of their truck, on that little thing you hitch trailers to. And it STUCK. It was great.

Not much else to say, except we got a room at the outside of the compound this time, and actually had airflow. It was amazing; the first time I haven’t woken up drenched in sweat.

Thursday oh Thursday. I don’t feel like describing it. Except this. We left at six thirty, and we got back home at eight. URGH. Oh and apparently I have this ability to attract kids, because I couldn’t help but get a crowd every place we went to, whether I wanted one or not. Actually its kinda troublesome, because I can’t speak the language, and unlike Joy, I quickly run out of things to do. So I usually end up chasing them. Kinda tiring though. Oh and when we got home I accidentally killed a cockroach with my bare feet. I mention that because once I realized what I did, I just shrugged and walked on. I’m getting way too used to Africa.

Friday. Uhm, normal sized site. Three new kids. I still have magic hands, as I got 6 kids to poop in ten minutes, except this one brat who refused to poop for four hours. There were lots of cute babies actually, the bright eyed kind that doesn’t start crying just from looking at me. (And yes there are a lot of those.) Not much to say.

Here’s one thing though. I have been talking about entering cards for a while. Here’s a little piece, so you understand. We graduate about 15 kids every day, from every site. Two sites a day, thirty kids. I can enter 22 cards an hour. I haven’t had a chance to enter cards in the last three days. I counted. We got 100 cards in the last three days. So that’s five hours of work. Sounds terrible right? Five hours of work on the weekend when I should be relaxing? But it gets better. We didn’t enter cards for a while, so we have 500ish cards that need to be entered on top of that. So, to make progress, I need to enter 200 or so over the weekend. And if we don’t get them all entered, now, we never will, because hunger season is fast approaching. And guess what, kids are more likely to starve in hunger season! So even MORE cards every day. I think if I practically kill myself over the next two weeks I might be able to enter them all. Maybe. OR maybe I’ll go insane and jump off the roof. We will see wont we?

TTYL

---He who is tired of orange pieces of paper

A day at the court...

Wow I'm sure surprised at the amount of comments on that last post...One? I know my parents were freaking, and immediately called/emailed me. But still, one comment? Were you guys just to dissapointed? Well, no matter, the blog shall continue as long as at least one person other than my parents read this.

So Monday Monday Monday...Pretty normal day, all things considered. One or two things of note at the site. I apparently have magic hands for applying suppositories. (The ones we use to make the stubborn ones poop) One kid pooped right as I put the suppository in, and the other pooped as I layed him on the towel. Maaaaaagic hands. So thats now my job. Yaaaaay. Hahaha.

I spent the rest of the day playing with little babies while we waitd for Leslie to get back and check Edema. (The swelling by water getting stuck in the body, a sign of Kwash.)

Tuesday is going better than I had hoped it would. I woke up as early as I usually do, and waited around, entering data cards. At 7:20 our manager picked me up, and she drove us to the police station. We got a good prosecutor, and left for the courthouse after about an hour. When we got there, since the judges were in a meeting, and she didn't want to make us wait, she let us go, we are going to skip the court case, as I am pleading guilty, and she will call us when our fine is ready. She said it will probably be 1-3 thousand kwatcha, but could be up to 5. I have 8 thousand on me, so I should be OK for the fine.

I'm just going to spend the rest of today entering cards. Not much else to say.

Also, I was told that my explanations of the studys was kinda spotty, so here's try number two.

Stool study is trying to determine what causes kids to get Kwashiorkor. Marasmus is caused by a lack of food in general, whereas Kwash is caused by an undiverse diet (Eating bread paste every day) But it is unclear what is the exact cause of Kwashiorkor. There may be some evidence the difference in those that develop Kwash and Marasmus in the bacteria in the bowels. SO...the study takes twins, and we monitor them until their third birthday, taking stool every three months, unless they become malnourished. If they become malnourished, they get put on chiponde, and we take stool at every visit. In this way, we hope to get many samples from kids with both Kwash and Marasmus, and be able to determine a difference in their "bowel flora" or the bacteria in the stomach and intestines. If it works, The Doctor may be able to determine the cause of Kwash.

The other study is trying to determine whether chiponde that is 10% milk and 10% soy can be used to treat children as well as chiponde that is 25% milk. Now, for some better background on it. Milk is very hard to come by here in Malawi, and very expensive. Soy milk, on the other hand, is not as hard. There are right now, three types of chiponde we use in the field. Soya Chiponde, 10% milk, and 25% milk (the original). Now some amino acids (might not be amino acids, but its SOMETHING) present in milk are needed for a baby to put on some serious weight. A few are present in soy milk, but not all. It has been shown that a baby that is only moderately malnourished can be treated on soya, but babies that are severley malnourished cannot. However, if we can treat severe children with a chiponde solution that has less milk in it, it would be possible to treat more children. So we, completely at random, treat children with either the 10 or 25 solution, and see if they recover. So far there hasn't been any major, visible differences with the two types, but once we have treated 2500 they will check to see exactly how much of a difference there is.

If that wasn't clear in any way, please let me know.

TTYL
---He whohopes people are still reading this.

I'm such a bastard...

Ok I know that title will throw some of you, but once I explain, you'll understand. This post starts late Friday, after I left Icon from that last post, which got some nice responces btw. But anyway, I drove home and upon getting home realized I didn't have my keys. CRAP! So I quickly drove back to Icon to see if I left them there. (I REALLY don't want to lose my keys!) And on the way back I was doing a right hand turn, and pulled a typical Amarican driver mistake, you dont have to look on right turns. (Plus I was a little freaked about the keys.) So as I turn I see these headlights coming towards the front of the truck. Quickly. I think it says a lot about me, probably as much as the last post did, that the only thing that passed through my mind before the collision was, "Fuck." (This word can have lots of flavors, and the paticular flavor this time was "Are you serious?") It was kinda strange, because the roads always freak me out here, I take turns very slowly, so when the guy slammed into me, I was almost stationary. And the truck i was in hardly even shook. No air bag. Just a little, teeny jolt. I got out and the Hilux (Which I was driving) was hardly even dented. In fact the only thing even bent was the bumper. That truck is a TANK. Especially considering that the other car was totaled. Like, V shape indentation, dripping oil, sizzling. Crazyness. And the guy who walked out was like 6 foot. Black guy. If he was pissed he could have easily rearranged my face. But he didn't.

Side note here. Though the accident was completely my fault, I am almost sure the guy was speeding. The roads at night are very empty, and I am confident in my ability to recognize when a car is very close to me. I think that he was proably going very fast, and I didn't recognize how fast he was going. Plus, there's NO WAY to damage your car as bad as his was if you were going any reasonably speed.

Anyhow, he called the police, and I called Leslie and our manager (who I forgot how I named). I asked Leslie to bring my driver's license. The manager was just there because she's our manager. We drove the car off the side. (To the right, the bumper made it impossible to drive left.) And then we went to the police station. It was kinda funny, becuase the police officer was making this report on blank sheets of paper, drawing the lines using other pieces of paper. I would have laughed, if I wasn't using every ounce of energy to calm myself down. Anyway, there was a lot of. "You need to look before you turn." "Yes." "You didn't look correctly." "Indeed." Etc. Probably because I was so straightforward, they gave me the lowest offence, inconsiderate driving. The fine is probably, 2500, to 5000 Kwatcha (one dollar = 150 kwatcha) which is funny, since my weekly stipend is 7000. I go to court on tuesday to sort that out. (Everyone goes to court of every offence here, I'll probably just pay the fine and go, try to restart dad's heart please, mom.)

One thing was kinda awkward though, I was supposed to be able to make a statement, and I tried to make mine, "I agree with the charges, but the other driver was speeding as well, and the damage would be considerably less had he not been." But the Policeman was kinda like "You agree. Sign here." I was told when we got home that my civil rights were violated by that, but no one wanted to push it. Didn't really seem like the time or place for it, if you get my drift. Plus, if the fine is as small as everyone thinks, I wont even care.

Small note, this is a key example of how amazing my luck is. Though, yes, I am kinda unlucky (or stupid) for getting into an accident, my luck paces the road so everything works out. For example, when do I get into an accident? When we have two extra working cars. How badly is my car damaged? Barely, it took us about half an hour to bend the bumper back, and it doesn't even need to be taken to the shop. Where do I get into an accident? A country where (I think) it wont go on my record. Does the guy who could seriously hurt me try? No. How much will I (hopefully) have to pay? Less than I get every week. Seriously, Its not like I ever test my luck, but its always like this. Stupid stuff I do that works itself out.

So how does this make me a bastard? All I could think about for the last two days was this: I'm dictating from a hospital bed. I got into a terrible accident and lost my left arm. I wrecked one of the project vehicles. All this crap I could say to make both my parents instantly go into cardiac arrest. It was only because I thought they might be mad enough to kill me when I get home, if they let me back home after that, that kept me from saying something like that. See, what decent person would actually think that?

So enough on that. I'm fine, and I'll let you know what happens on Tuesday.

Saturday. Woke up at like 12-1ish. Entered like 50 data cards. Very normal day, just lazing around listening to my music. We went to a club at 10 though to listen to a Reggae band play. It was nice, we got Joy (male) me, Victor, Leslie, and L(Forget what is after the L, will fix later, but he runs the factory) and his wife. We just sat around listening and talking for two hours or so. OR they talked, I gave up at trying to talk over the band really soon. I just sat listening. And right as it was getting good the power died. BWAHAHAHAHA. Hows that for typical Malawian?

So today was more of the same. Ran around and did some shopping. Going to go to Macky's. And make sure there's nothing wrong with the cards I've already entered. (I checked the 150 I entered ove the last week, but I need to check the 100 we already had entered.) I'll probably do that at Macky's. So that's it for my weekend.

Q/A session 2

"Sundays quick post"

Kathleen - I want to check the site traffic asap, but those sights require me to download something, and unless I get a computer I wont be able to moniter it. Thanks though!

Ulf - Actually I think I might know a little more now. We started the computer yesterday, and it didn't recognize any airport hardware, which sucks, because that's what the computer is for. However, the computer works fine...could the airport cause the Kernel Panic?

Becca - I'm not sure if the brainstorming should worry me. xP And my arms are all better now.

Rita - Then you are in luck! Because I only use three. And you didn't get the favors because I only started the favor system recently.

"Normal-ish day 2"

Medium Bill - Cause you heart failure, and inherit your insurance, of course.

Becca - My friends want to leave so I'm gonna try to answer fast. There are tremendous amounts of subsistence farmers, which is about as dirt poor as you get. People that have bikes are kinda rich, if you consider that everyone is poor. Most whites are either tourists or volunteers. The indians are the rich upper class here. *eats cookie*

Aunt Jo - Aren't you happy to hear this update?

Chris - Following in your footsteps man!

"Never a dull moment..."

Rita - I can't spare the time to start the debate here, so I'll just wait till I get back then take you up on your offer.

Malawi Mom - Man, sounds like we are in the car on one of those hella long car rides again. Feel that way for you too?

Buhbuhboo- Welcome to the great world of unlimited speculation. if you ever want a long ramble about the meaning of life, the universe, and everything, give me a call, I'd be glad to oblige.

Medium Bill - You are in the car too? Cool. And by the way you know I consider it more philosophical than spiritual. And I love that quote, "Specialization is for insects"

Liz - I've never heard that before, "BS." Haha. When I stop questioning things that is gonna be the time for someone to smack me with a slegehammer. Glad to see that you think some similar things to me too! You're a lot better at articulating them though, whats your trick?

MalawiMom - Urgh. Look this week I posted 4 times. Here's why. "Sundays quick post" was posted on MONDAY. If you look closely there's a "Note:" and I follow with the nothing that happened on monday. I STARTED on Sunday, and posted on Monday. Then Tuesday rolled along, and I posted "Normal-ish day 2" Friday was "Never a dull moment..." And Sunday is "I'm such a bastard..." My week starts on Monday, becuase that's when my work weeks starts, then I relax on the weekend, and Monday starts it over again. Monday - Sunday. Mon, Tue, Fri, Sun. I owe you nothing. Hahaha.

TTYL
---He who really hopes he will prove useful enough to keep another three months.